Akhlaq lil banin Voleme 3
O beloved child!
- Allah has created human beings in this world and favored them over the animals with reason, religion, speech and morals. Islam has given the highest attention to morals and made them obligatory upon individuals and society, because morals are essential for the establishment of individual and societal life. Man harms himself if he has bad manners, and spoils most of his deeds if he is deceitful and spiteful, evil and likes to seek praise. Likewise, the society will be disturbed by the spread of these corrupt morals so that they always live in enmity, quarreling, boasting and fighting each other.
- How Islam pays much attention to calling for good manners that bring pleasure and happiness, and warning against bad manners that cause misery and misfortune. Islam explains to us two ways of protection from moral corruption.
First: Forbidding the three sources of evil, namely alcohol, gambling and adultery.
Second: Obliging amar makruf and nahi munkar (enjoining virtue and forbidding evil).
- Man is in dire need of good manners in all his circumstances. If he does not have them, then it is better for him to die than to live like that. Imam: As-Shafi’i (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) said:
Allah has not given man a better gift than his mind and manners, both of which are the source of man’s life, and if they are lost then death is better for him.
- The Prophet (SAW) has set the goal of his mission to humanity, which is the propagation of noble morals. So he said: “Verily, I was sent to perfect good manners.” Allah SWT. praised him as the owner of good morals. So Allah says: “You are indeed of excellent character” (Al-Qalam – 4).
The Prophet (SAW) made the nisbah (relationship) of good manners to religion as the nisbah between the container and its contents. So the Prophet said: “Verily, morals are the container of religion.”
- In encouraging noble character, there is the hadith: “Verily, Allah adorns Islam with noble character and good deeds.”
“Fortunate is the one who dedicates his heart to faith, his heart is cleansed, his tongue loves to speak the truth, his soul is at peace and his morals are upright.”
“Among the glories of faith is when people feel safe from you: and among the glories of Islam is when you do not harm others with your tongue or your hand.”:
“A person of bad character will not enter Paradise.”
“Good manners melt sins as water melts snow: and bad manners corrupt charity as vinegar corrupts honey.”
“Good manners bring blessings: and bad manners bring misfortune.”
- A wise man said, “In moral spaciousness – there is a treasury of wealth.”
Another said, “Whoever has bad manners is also deprived of sustenance and torments himself. So he always lives with the people in slander and enmity, quarrels and disputes, and the spacious earth feels narrow to him.”
The poet said:
For the sake of your life, it is not that a land becomes narrow because of its inhabitants but it is the manners of the people that make it narrow.
If the morals of a people do not expand then even a vast land becomes narrow for them.
Poet Syaugi said:
Nations live. as long as they have morals If their morals disappear, then they perish.
Another poet said:
The building of a people does not stand when their souls are corrupt.
- Make every effort to produce good manners so that you will be happy in this world and the Hereafter. In the hadith: “Verily, manners are from Allah. So whoever wants to be given good by Allah, then He gives him good manners. And whoever Allah wants to give bad manners to, He will give him bad manners.”
The poet Hafidh Ibrahim said:
If you are endowed with praiseworthy morals, it means that
The divider of fortune has chosen you
There are some humans who receive wealth, some who receive knowledge and some who have noble character.
- Pay more attention to your moral education than you do to acquiring knowledge. In the hadith: “Verily, the most severely punished person on the Day of Resurrection will be the scholar whom Allah did not benefit with his knowledge.”
The late Egyptian leader Sa’ad Zaghlul Pasya said, “We don’t need a lot of knowledge, but we need a lot of noble morals.”
- What is the benefit of your knowledge and wealth, or the beauty of your clothes and face, if your morals and manners are bad?
If the beauty of a young man’s face is not in his deeds and morals, it is not a glory for him.
Di’ bil said:
It is not good for them to have a good face if they have bad manners.
- With what are the hearts of parents gladdened by their children? Is it the abundance of knowledge and the mastery of various languages, along with bad manners and habits, and the neglect of prayers and obligations? No, it is when they see their children adhering to religion, being obedient and dutiful, knowing their Lord and Prophet, knowing their fatherly and human rights and fulfilling their obligations towards everyone. They can benefit themselves before: their families and communities, then the hearts of the parents are happy to see their children learning and educated and understanding the affairs of the world and religion,
- So get into the habit of having good manners from your childhood, so that they will become your disposition and character when you grow up.
A wise man said, “Whoever has a certain disposition in his youth, grows old with that disposition. If you neglect yourself until you become accustomed to bad behavior, then it will be very difficult for you to receive education when you grow up. It is hard to train an old person and it is hard to educate a habitual person.”
Lust is like a baby, If you let it suckle, and if you wean it, it will stop.
- Here I present to you the third part of the book “Moral Guidance” with the hope that you will read it well and be sincerely willing to rely on its contents as you did with the first and second volumes of this book. By doing so, Insha Allah, you will be educated in your morals, your livelihood will be good, and you will be saved from the trials of the times and the helpers of the Shaytaan, and you will earn the pleasure of Ar-Rahman (Allah, the Most Merciful).
It is only to Allah that we turn for help.
Al-Ustadz Umar bin Ahmad Baradja
KINDS OF MANNERS
1 : MANNERS WHEN WALKING
Indeed, walking has manners, O beloved son, which you must practice so that you will be safe from harassment and live honorably among the people:
- You should put your left foot first when you leave the house and say: “In the name of Allah, to Allah I put my trust; there is no power or strength except with the help of Allah. O Allah, I seek refuge in You so that I may not go astray or be led astray, or slip or be led astray, or do wrong, or be wronged, or be ignored or ignored, or be wronged or be wronged.”
You should walk to benefit yourself or others and not walk to disobey or harm someone. For your feet, like the rest of your body, are a trust for you that will testify against you for your deeds on the Day of Resurrection.
As Allah says:
“On the day when their tongues, hands and feet will bear witness against them for what they have done” (An-Nuur: 24).
- You should walk at a moderate pace, neither too fast nor too slow, as Allah Ta’ala has commanded you in His words: “And be modest in your walk” (Luqman: 19).
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Walking too fast takes away the beauty of the believer.”
In one narration: “Beauty of the face.”
There is nothing wrong with walking fast if it is for something important.
In the hadith: “The Prophet (SAW) offered the ‘Asr prayer, then he walked quickly into his house.” So people were afraid of his speed. Then he said: “I remembered a little gold nugget that was in our house, so I did not want it to hold me back so I told him to distribute it.”
- You should not walk wearing one sandal. The hadeeth says: “Let none of you walk in one sandal.” He should wear both sandals or take them off, and he should not strike the earth with his feet or sandals. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Do not walk arrogantly on the earth, for Allah does not like those who are arrogant and boastful” (Luqman: 18). In another verse Allah says: “Do not walk on the earth arrogantly. Verily you will not be able to penetrate the earth nor reach the height of the mountains” (Al-israa’: 37).
You should not sway to the right and to the left. Do not wave your hands proudly and arrogantly. In -hadith: The Prophet saw Abi “Dujanah walking arrogantly between two armies at Uhud. So he said: “This kind of walking is hated by Allah, except in this place.”
In another hadith: “At a time when a man is walking wearing a shirt that he is proud of while uncovering his hair and walking arrogantly, suddenly Allah buries him so that he enters the earth until the Day of Resurrection.”
- You should not turn your head unnecessarily or move with inappropriate movements, especially when there is female resemblance. The Prophet (SAW) has forbidden men to resemble women and women to resemble men.
Do not intentionally look at windows and doors or the faces of people walking and riding, especially women who are not their muhrims, because looking at them is haraam, because it can instill lust in the heart and cause bad thoughts, then commit the sin of adultery, which is one of the major sins. May Allah protect us from that.
Allah Ta’ala says: “Say to the believing men: Let them restrain their gaze and keep their private parts. That is purer for them, and Allah knows best what they do” (An-Nuur: 30).
You should not walk between two women. It is mentioned in the hadeeth that this is forbidden because of the fear of a man touching a woman who is not his muhrm or looking at her.
- If you see a group of people arguing with each other, it is a matter of manners that you reconcile between them if you are able, in order to fulfill the words of Allah, may He be exalted: “The believers are brothers, so reconcile between your two brothers” (Al-Hujuraat: 10).
And the Prophet said: “Shall I tell you about a deed that is better than the degrees of fasting, prayer and charity?”.
The Companions replied, “Yes”. He said: “Repair the relationships of your neighbors. Because the damage – the relationship between your neighbors is the shaver.
I do not say it is shaving the head, but shaving (destroying) religion. If you are not able, then . Stay away from them and do not participate with them or witness them.”
Similarly, if you come across people who are joking or speaking inappropriately, or annoying you with their words. Then turn away from them and pay no attention to them, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And when they hear unwholesome talk, they turn away from it” (Al-Qashash: 55).
“And the good servants of the Most Merciful Lord are those who walk the earth humbly, and when the ignorant address them, they speak words of salvation” (Al-furqan: 63).
The poet said:
A fool speaks to me with every bad word and I do not want to answer He increases foolishness and I increase patience Like aloes that become more fragrant when burned.
- You should greet people you meet, even if you do not know them. In the hadith: “A man asked the Messenger of Allah (SAW), “Which of the teachings of Islam is the best?” He replied, “You feed others and you greet those whom you know and those whom you do not know,” Let your encounter be accompanied by a smile.”
In the hadith: “Do not despise the slightest kindness even if it is only to meet your brother with a radiant face.”
It is also recommended to shake hands when meeting.
It says in the hadith: “No two Muslims meet and shake hands, but their sins will be forgiven before they part.” When you walk with someone who is older than you, place him on your right and step back a little from him. Do not like someone walking behind you and do not hate someone walking in front of you, for that is the behavior of the arrogant.
- You should walk on the right side so as to be safe from the dangers of vehicles, and avoid places that are slippery so as not to slip, or places full of stones and dirt so as not to stumble or get your clothes dirty, and you should not walk on narrow and dirty roads even if they are closer to your destination. For perhaps you may smell a foul odor there or see a bad sight. Sometimes people are crowded there, preventing you from reaching your destination quickly. Do not walk on streets where people are crowded together. If you must do so, then keep what you have and books and money from being lost, and avoid colliding with each other.
- Do not walk with your hands around your waist, for this is the action of the proud, the action of the devil, and the action of the Jews in their prayers. In the hadeeth: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade people to pray with their hands on their waists.” He was specific about prayer, because bending over during prayer is worse than anything else. You should not eat or sing while walking, or raise your voice or whistle or stand in the street just out of curiosity, and look at something that is not your concern or disturb someone who is walking. All these are contrary to the manners of walking. When you meet your companion, do not joke with him and do not stop him except for a need. If you meet someone who is weak, then help him. If you meet someone who is lost, then guide him or meet a blind person, then show him the way or lead him to his destination.
In the hadith: “Whoever guides a blind man 40 steps, Paradise is obligatory for him.”
If you want to cross to the other side, then do not rush. Look first to the right and left so that you will be safe and harmless.
- It is not permissible for you to relieve yourself in the middle of the road as is done by people who are not civilized in the least and have no regard for public health. This has been forbidden. In the hadith: “Whoever harasses the Muslims in their streets, their curse is obligatory upon him.” This action is very disruptive to people walking. On the contrary, it is recommended that you remove the disturbance from the road. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Faith has 70 branches less The greatest of which is saying, “Laa Ilahaillallahu,” and the least of which is removing annoyances from the road.”
The Prophet also said: “I saw a man who was free to do whatever he wanted in Paradise, because of a tree, which he cut down from the middle of the road, because it disturbed the Muslims.”
- When you want to enter your house, then put your right foot first and recite the Prophetic supplication: “O Allah, I ask you for the best of entrances and the best of exits. In the name of Allah we enter and in the name of Allah we go out and to Allah our Lord we put our trust.”
Then greet your family. In the hadith: “When you enter to meet your family, greet them, and it will bring blessings upon you and your household.”
If you do not find anyone in it, say: “Assalamu’alaina wa’ala ibadillahiis shalihin,”
Meaning: “Peace be upon us and upon the righteous servants of Allah,” in accordance with the words of Allah: “So when you enter any of these houses, greet its occupants with the greeting prescribed from Allah, blessed and good” (An-Nur 61).
2 MANNERS WHEN SITTING
A child can know whether he is civilized or uncivilized by his movements and silence. So when you sit, you should follow this advice:
- Sit in a good manner, that is, upright and quiet, not bending your head or body and not extending your legs, not ringing your fingers and not playing or linking some fingers with others or clipping your nails in front of people. When you sit on a chair, do not put one calf on top of the other and do not move your calves. When you want to call someone, do not point to him with your finger or your head, but call him in a low voice so as not to disturb the audience. You should not joke inappropriately or laugh without a cause or joke and laugh too much. It says in the Tafseer that when some of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) were joking too much, Allah, the Exalted, said: “Has the time not come for those who believe to submit their hearts to the remembrance of Allah and to the truth that has been revealed to them, and not to be like those before them to whom the Book was revealed, then a long time passed over them and their hearts became hard. And most of them were wrongdoers” (Al-Hadiid: 16).
You should not raise your voice when speaking or backbite someone or cuss him or broadcast his secret. The Prophet said: “Assemblies must be accompanied by a mandate.” Do not tell lies in your speech to make the audience laugh. In the hadith: “Woe to the one who tells a story to make people laugh, when he is lying. Woe to him, woe to him.”
- You should pay attention to the atmosphere of the assembly. If the assembly is joyful, join in the joy of the people in the assembly, and vice versa. You should not laugh in the presence of people in a sorrowful assembly or grieve in the presence of people in a happy assembly. This is not in accordance with feelings. You should make room for those who wish to sit in accordance with the words of Allah:
“O you who believe, when it is said to you:
“Make room in the assembly”, so make room, and Allah will make room for you” (Al Mujadilah: 11).
Be kind to your seatmate. Smile at him and listen to his conversation, and do not disturb him.
You respect everyone in the assembly, especially the one who is older than you, so stand up in his honor and move him forward in the assembly and step back a little from him. In the hadeeth it is mentioned that the Prophet said to the Anshorites (may Allah be pleased with them): “Stand up in honor of your leader”, i.e. Sa’d bin Mu’adz r.a. An old man came to see the Prophet (PBUH) and people were slow to make room for him. So the Prophet said: “He is not one of us who does not love children and does not honor the elderly.”
When you enter an assembly, greet the attendees and shake their hands, and start with those on the right. When you wish to leave, greet them again. The Prophet said: “
When one of you enters the assembly, greet him. If he wishes to stand up, greet him. The first greeting is not better than the last.”
- You should not order someone to get up from his seat, because that is haraam. According to the hadith: “None of you should make another person get up from his seat and then sit down, but make room for him.”
If someone gets up from his seat and you sit down, and he wants to return to it, do not forbid him. He is more entitled to his first seat.
In the hadeeth: “If one of you gets up from a gathering and then returns to it, he is more entitled to it.”
And do not separate two people except with their permission. When you enter an assembly that is full of people, do not disturb them by pushing them, unless you find a space, then sit there. In the hadith: “If one of you enters an assembly and a place is made available to him, then sit down. Otherwise, he should look for the widest place.”
And you should not sit in the middle of the circle of the assembly. The hadeeth says: “The one who sits in the center of the circle of the assembly is cursed.” The reason for this is that if he sits in the middle of it, he turns his back to some of them and annoys them, so they curse him.
- Try to sit as much as you can facing the qiblah. In the hadith: “The best of assemblies are those facing the qiblah” You should attend good assemblies that are beneficial to you regarding your religious or worldly affairs and you should avoid bad assemblies or empty assemblies in which the name of Allah is not mentioned. The Prophet (SAW) said: “No people leave an assembly without mentioning the name of Allah in it but they are like leaving the carcass of a donkey and that assembly will cause them regret on the Day of Judgment.” You should avoid assemblies where there are unlawful acts such as playing gambling, or serving alcohol. In the hadeeth: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade sitting at a banquet where people were drinking alcohol.”
If you do not find a righteous seatmate, you should stay alone, as the Prophet said:
“Being alone is better than a bad seatmate and a righteous seatmate is better than being alone.”
Do not enter a secret assembly when you are not invited, lest the occupants become angry with you for spying on their secrets.
In the hadith: “Whoever listens to the speech of a people while they dislike it, will have hot lead poured into his ears on the Day of Judgment.”
- You should sit in the nearest place to you and do not insist on sitting in the middle of the assembly. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was not recognized by his companions, for he sat where the assembly ended and the same was the way his companions sat. When you sit in a mosque, intend to do iktikaf to gain reward, and practice manners in it. Do not play or shout or disturb someone who is praying. Keep yourself busy by reciting the Qur’an or dhikr or reciting the blessings of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
Do not talk about worldly matters there, and especially not about things that are forbidden.
In the hadith: “There will be at the end of time a people whose talk in their mosques, Allah has no need of them.” In another hadith: “Talking in the mosque eats up the reward of good deeds like animals eat grass.”
Do not step on people’s shoulders, disappointed when you find a vacant spot in the front row.
In the hadith: “Whoever steps on people’s shoulders on Friday has built a bridge to Jahannam.”
The scholars said: “Indeed, the prohibition on stepping on shoulders is general in all gatherings, because it disturbs those who are sitting and degrades them.”
- Avoid bad habits when you sit. Do not put your fingers in your ears or nose or mouth. Do not remove food debris between your teeth, do not blow your nose with your hand, but with a clean handkerchief by hiding it and not raising your voice. When you cough, place your handkerchief over your mouth so that your saliva does not scatter. If you want to yawn, prevent it to the best of your ability by placing your left hand over your mouth or closing your lips.
When you are helpless, cover your mouth with the back of your left palm and make no sound.
The Prophet (SAW) said: “When one of you yawns, let him put his hand over his mouth, because the shaitan enters when he yawns.”
In another hadith: “Verily, Allah loves sneezing and hates yawning. So when one of you yawns, let him prevent it as much as possible and not say, “Hah, hah”, for that is from the shaitan who laughs at him.”
The scholars said, “Because sneezing indicates vigor and activity of the body, while yawning usually indicates a heavy body and a full stomach, causing laziness. The Prophet (SAW) associated it with the devil, because it pleases the devil.”
- When you burp or sneeze, place your hand or a handkerchief over your mouth so that your saliva does not scatter or disturb someone with your burp and do not raise your voice.
In the hadith: “When any of you burps or sneezes, do not raise your voice, for the shaitan loves a loud voice from both.”
When you sneeze, then praise Allah.
In the hadeeth: “When one of you sneezes, say “Alhamdulillah” and let his brother or friend say “Yarhamukallahu” (may Allah have mercy on you).”
And if he says to him, “Yarhamukallahu'”, then he should say, “Yahdiikumullahu wa yushlihu baalakum” (May Allah guide you and make your heart better).
If a child who has not yet reached puberty sneezes near you and says: “Alhamdu lillahirobbil’aalamiin” (Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds), then say: “Baarokallahu fiika, ya ghulaam” (May Allah bless you, child). This is what is mentioned in one of the hadeeths.
- Do not sit on the streets. The Prophet (SAW) has forbidden us to do so. If we are forced to sit there, then give the street its due, which is as in the hadith: “Keeping the gaze (of the forbidden), removing distractions, answering the greeting, enjoining virtue and forbidding evil.” When you get up from your seat, recite the supplication narrated from the Prophet (SAW), which is: “Subhanaaka Allahumma wa bihamdika Ashhadu an laa ilaha illaa anta astaghfiruka wa atuubu ilaika” (Glory be to You, O Allah, and all praise be to You. I testify that there is no God but You. I ask forgiveness and repent to You). Whoever says that, his sins will be forgiven for what is in that assembly.
3 VARIOUS KINDS OF CONVERSATION MANNERS
1, O beloved son When you wish to speak, you should first weigh your speech in your heart; if it is appropriate, then speak. If it is not, then keep quiet so that you are saved from the great blemish of verbal defects. Allah Ta’ala says: “He does not utter a word but there is an angel ever present with him” (Qaaf: 18).
In the hadeeth: “Verily, the one who speaks a word that is not clear and plain will slide further into Hell than the distance between the east and the west.”
In the hadith also: “The ordeal depends on what is said.” If a man had reproached another man that he suckled a dog, he would have suckled him too. In another hadith: “Are not the people who fall on their faces into hell only the victims of their tongues?”
In another hadith: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak well or let him be silent.”
The poet said:
Weigh your words when you speak, for they reveal the disgrace of the speaker.
Speak as needed so as not to be too talkative.
In the hadith: “Whoever speaks much, makes many mistakes. And whoever has many faults, has many sins. Whoever has many sins, hellfire will be upon him.”
You should not speak everything you hear. In the hadith: “It is a sin for a person to tell everything he hears.”
- Talk about things according to the mood. Do not speak of laughable things in times of sorrow, and do not speak of sad things in times of joy. Do not mention disgusting things at mealtimes, and do not describe a physical defect if there is someone in the assembly who has one, so that he will not feel embarrassed or offended. Be careful when speaking not to let your saliva run down your mouth. Do not frequently point with your head or hands.
If you are asked about something, then answer with words, not by moving your head or shoulders.
If someone else is asked a question, do not be hasty in answering. Speak in a moderate voice so as to be heard by the person spoken to, for a very loud voice disturbs the listener and shows the speaker’s rudeness and foolishness, while a low voice is inaudible to the person spoken to. Do not rush when you speak so that it becomes clear and can be understood, and so that you are saved from mistakes. It was the Prophet SAW. spoke with clear words and was understood by everyone who heard him. Do not monopolize (master) the conversation all for yourself, but give your seatmate his share of the conversation.
- When someone speaks to you, listen to what he says and turn your face toward him. Do not interrupt him, but wait until he has finished speaking. If you do not understand what he says, do not say: “How?” “What are you saying?” “I don’t understand what you’re saying!” but use subtle expressions such as, “Please repeat what you said.”
If you are talking to someone and he does not understand you, do not get angry. Repeat your words a second and third time until he understands. It was the Prophet (SAW) who, when he said something, repeated it three times until it was understood. When you ask for something from someone, do not say, “Do this” and “give this,” because these are harsh words. Instead, say, “Please do this,” or “I ask you to provide that.” If someone calls you, especially your teacher or one of your parents, then answer immediately with the words, “Labbaik/Yes.”
In the hadith: There is no one with better manners than the Messenger of Allah (SAW). not one of his companions called out to him, but he replied, “Labbaik.”
You should not say, “What do you want?” For that is a harsh word.
- If there is someone older than you in the assembly then do not precede him in speaking. The Prophet (SAW) said to Abdur-Rahmanbin Sahir (a), “Be quiet, you are immature” when he wanted to speak on a matter, even though he was the youngest.
When you speak to him, use words of honor and respect such as: Antum, hadrotukum or janabukum (you, father and so on). Know that respect for the elderly gives good news about the long life of the young.
As in the hadith: “No young man honors someone because of his age, but Allah destines for him one who honors him when he reaches that age.”
When someone tells you a story or informs you of news, do not destroy his feelings by saying, “I have heard this story or news,” but be silent as if you had not heard it before.
- Likewise, if he is wrong in his story or report, do not laugh at him and do not blame him harshly. For example, you might say to him, “What you say is not true.” Rather point out his mistake subtly by saying, “Perhaps it is like this, I think it is like this.” If he does not accept your warning, leave him in his situation.
Do not quarrel with him, even if the truth is with you. In the hadith: “Whoever leaves an argument while he is guilty, a house will be built for him on the shores of Paradise.”
“And whoever leaves debate, while he is being truthful, a house will be built for him in the highest heaven.” In another hadith: “Do not argue with your brother and do not joke with him.”
“Do not promise something to someone and then break it.” If you have done something wrong and someone reminds you of it, then accept his reminder gladly and thank him for his advice. Do not be unreceptive to the truth, for that would be arrogance.
In the hadith: “Pride is the unwillingness to accept the truth.”
- Also part of the manners of conversation is that you avoid abusive words, swearing and cursing.
In the hadith: “It is not for a believer to revile and curse, to speak evil and filthy words.”
You should avoid gossiping, lying and backbiting.
Allah says: “Let not some of you backbite others; would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would be disgusted with him” (Al-Hujuraat: 12).
In the hadith: “It is a great betrayal if you tell something to your brother in whom you have placed your trust and you lie to him.” In another hadith: “One who likes to spread rumors will not enter Paradise.”
You should avoid swearing, even if you are right, Allah says: “And make not the name of Allah a target for your oaths” (al-Baqarah: 224).
Do not speak with ignorance. When you are asked about something you do not know, do not be ashamed to say, “Allah knows better,” or “I do not know.” This answer does not lower your status; rather it elevates you in the sight of Allah and people, and shows the strength of your religion and the purity of your heart, so that you will receive the reward of knowledge. That is why Ash-Shafi’bi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “I do not know” is half knowledge.
- You should also be careful in your speech and broadcast secrets and joke inappropriately, because it causes resentment, and and laughing a lot or laughing loudly and frowning face The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said “Verily Allah Ta’ala hates the one who frowns in the presence of his brothers.”
Do not be arrogant. haughty and boastful.
Allah Ta’ala says: “So do not say -: you are pure. It is He who knows best those who fear” (An-Najm: 32).
You should not mock someone or imitate his words and deeds or insinuate something about his disgrace or call him by his nickname.
Allah Ta’ala says: “O you who believe, let not one people make fun of another people (for) it may be that they (the made fun of) are better than they (the made fun of) and let not women (make fun of) other women (for) it may be that the women (made fun of) are better than the women (made fun of) and do not reproach yourselves and do not call yourselves by bad names” (Al-Hujuraat: 11).
If an ignorant person annoys you with talk then do not answer him.
The poet said:
If a fool speaks, don’t answer him It’s better to be silent than to answer I keep a fool quiet until he thinks I’m incapable of answering, even though I’m still capable.
4 MANNERS OF EATING ALONE
- O beloved son! Know that a reasonable man eats to live, for eating is required for his bodily health. If he does not eat, then he will surely die. The opposite is the foolish person. He lives to eat. Then his mind is only for his stomach like an animal. So you should observe moderation at mealtimes in order to obey the words of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted: “Eat and drink and do not overdo it, indeed He (Allah) does not like those who overdo it” (Al A’Raaf: 31).
You should practice adab at mealtime, namely :
- You should intend to be strong in doing acts of obedience and worship in order to be rewarded for them. In the hadith: “Verily, deeds depend on their intentions, and each person gets what he intends.”
Do not be so intent on pleasure and delicacy that you eat: at all times, and put food on top of food. In the hadith: “Excess is when you eat everything you like.”
But eat at certain times when you want food. Be satisfied with what you have and do not ask for what you do not have. Do not eat until you are very full, but stop eating when you still like it, because being too full can harm your health and lead to ignorance.
The Prophet (SAW) has forbidden it with his saying: “The son of Adam has not filled a vessel worse than his stomach. It is enough for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls that straighten his spine. If he must do so, then one-third for his food, one-third for his drink and one-third for his breath.”
The Prophet (SAW) also said: “The worst of my Ummah are those who eat delicious food and their bodies grow from it, while their only desires are for food and clothing and they speak in vain.”
The Prophet (SAW), said: “Avoid overindulgence, for it corrupts religion, causes illness and makes worship lazy.”
- Keep your hands clean by washing them before and after eating.
In the hadith: “Washing the palms before eating repels poverty, and afterward repels madness or the like.”
You should eat with your right hand. In the hadith: “Let one of you eat with his right hand, drink with his right hand, take with his right hand and give with his right hand, because the devil eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand, gives with his left hand and takes with his left hand.”
You should say first: “Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the Name of Allah, the Most Compassionate and Merciful).”
In the hadith “When one of you eats, let him mention the name of Allah. If he forgets the beginning, let him say: “Bismillahi awwalahu wa akhirahu” (In the name of Allah at the beginning and at the end).” Do not dirty your hands and clothes with food, and do not spill soup or put bones on the souprah. Do not drink much while eating, for that prevents the digestion of food, and do not blow on food and drink. In the hadith: “Blowing on food takes away the blessing.” There is also a prohibition on blowing in drinks.
Do not drink from the mouth of a jug, for it may have a foul odor or it may contain feces or animals that you do not see. It is narrated that a man drank from a jug, then a worm crawled into his stomach.
Do not breathe or burp into the glass or drink from the cracked part of the glass; this is forbidden. The hadith says: it is the seat of the devil.
- You should not eat or drink while standing. This is also prohibited. In the hadith: “Do not eat while walking.”
Doctors have forbidden doing so, because the large stomach (the digestive tract) is not prepared to receive food in a walking state. Yes, doctors tell us to move after the food has settled in the stomach. The Arabs say, “Eat during the day and rest, eat at night and walk. So walk before you go to bed, even if it is a hundred steps, because walking is one of the greatest causes that facilitate digestion, while the night time is habitually quiet, so we should move at that time. The daytime is habitually mobile, so it is sufficient for digestion.”
Do not leave out lunch or dinner.
In the hadith: “Abandoning the midday meal leads to sickness and abandoning the evening meal leads to old age.”
In another hadith: “Eat at night, even with a handful of dates.” You should eat in the morning before you go out of your house. (A wise man said to his son, “My son, do not go out of your house until you have taken your senses, i.e. you have eaten first, for then your senses will be fixed and ignorance will disappear.”)
5 Among the manners are: You should not drink or speak while food is in your mouth, and you should not wipe your lips with your tongue after eating and drinking, but with a napkin. Do not drink water all at once without breathing, but you drink it in one gulp and breathe outside the glass. Dalai hadith: “Sip water firmly and do not sip it all at once (without breathing), because liver disease is caused by sipping all at once.” When drinking from a glass, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would breathe three times. In each breath he praised Allah Ta’ala and thanked Him at the end. Do not eat while lying on your stomach. It is mentioned in the hadith that this is prohibited. You should not eat while lying on your back, leaning on a pillow, because that gives rise to arrogance and overeating, which is the behavior of arrogant rulers. Do not eat while leaning on one side of your body, because it harms health and prevents the rapid passage of food into the large stomach so that it becomes weak. In the hadith: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) sometimes knelt down to eat and sat on the back of his legs. Sometimes he would put his right foot up and sit on his left foot.” He said: “I do not eat while leaning, but I am a servant, I eat as I eat and I sit as I sit.”
You should not eat food when it is hot, but wait until it cools down a little and is easy to take. The hadith says: “Do not eat hot food, for it takes away the blessing.” You should take small bites and chew the food well, as this aids digestion. Do not take another bite before swallowing the food in your mouth, because that shows gluttony for food.
- When you finish eating, wash your hands and lips well with soap, then dry them with a clean cloth (napkin) from one side, then clean between your teeth with a toothpick. In the hadith: “May Allah have mercy on those of my Ummah who clean between their limbs at the time of wudhu and after eating.” Rinse your mouth after cleaning between your teeth. It may be that a little blood comes out and defiles the mouth. It is reported from the ahl al-bayt (five families of the Prophet).
As Imam al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) states in al-Lhya’: “Thank Allah with your heart for the food He has given you and see it as a pleasure from Him.”
Allah says: “Eat of the sustenance which Allah has given you lawful and good, and give thanks for the blessings of Allah, if you truly worship Him.” (An-Nahl: 114).
In the hadith: “Verily, Allah is pleased with the slave who eats food and praises Him for it, and drinks drink and praises Him for it.” Also give thanks with your tongue by saying, “Praise be to Allah who gave me this food and bestowed it upon me without my power or strength.” In the hadith: “Whoever says that, his previous sins will be forgiven.” :
Also say, “Praise be to Allah, the praise is plentiful and good and the blessing is unlimited and unceasing and always needed. O Allah, bless us in it and grant us food better than it.”
Except after drinking milk, then say, “Bless us in it and increase us from it.”
Because there is no food and drink that is sufficient other than milk. After drinking the water, say, “Praise be to Allah who made it fresh and refreshing by His grace and did not make it salty to the point of bitterness because of our sins.”
Also recite after eating, “Qulhuwallahu ahad” (Surah Al Ikhlas) and “Li Ilafi Qurayshin” (Surah Quraysh).
5 MANNERS OF EATING TOGETHER A GROUP OF PEOPLE
- It is mustahabb for you not to be alone when eating. Eat with your family or guests.
In the hadith: “It is that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) did not eat alone. “
Also in the hadith: “Gather to eat your food, and you will be blessed in it.”
“The best food is that which many people eat.”
When you eat with others, practice the following manners in addition to the previous ones:
Do not hasten to sit down or start eating before those who are older than you or in a higher position than you, unless you are a person to be followed and emulated as a host. Then you should start eating so that the audience does not wait long. Do not sit so long over your meal that you are the last to leave and appear greedy and gluttonous.
Unless you are the host, then it is recommended for you. In the hadith: “When the Prophet ate with a crowd, he was the last to eat.” Do not be in a hurry to stand up or stop eating, even if you are still facing the dish so that your neighbors feel embarrassed and stop eating because they imitate you. In the hadith: “When a meal is laid out, let no one stand up, even if he is full, until the people have finished. This is because it may embarrass his seatmate and he may want the food.”
- Choose a place in the assembly that suits you, and sit there politely, not fiddling with cutlery. Do not turn and move frequently and do not push the person next to you. It is also good manners to initiate the greeting of peace and to ask the person sitting next to you how he is doing. This is meant to bring joy to him, to ward off loneliness and to remove his melancholy.
Part of the etiquette is that you do not sit facing the door of the women’s room and do not look intentionally at the kinds of food and the faces of those who are eating.
Do not stretch out your hand towards food that is far away from you, but eat food that is near to you, except for fruits. Then there is nothing wrong with you taking what you like.
In the hadith: “It was that the Prophet (SAW) after eating offered fruits to his companions. Someone asked him about it. So he replied: It is not one kind.”
Eat one seed at a time and do not eat two seeds at once.
In the hadith it is forbidden, except with the permission of your friend. If you eat a banana, for example, do not put the peel in front of others so that they may think that you have eaten nothing. This would be a lie. Do not throw the peel on the road so as not to cause others to slip and do not make noise when chewing, especially if you like a food, as this shows greed.
- If you want to spit or blow your nose, then move away from the assembly and do not make a loud noise when spitting or blowing your nose.
You should speak with speech that is appropriate to the occasion.
It is narrated that the Prophet asked his family for gravy. They replied, “We only have vinegar.”
So he asked for it and ate it anyway, saying, “The best soup is vinegar, the best soup is vinegar.”
You should not mention something disgusting or tell sad news, for that is not in accordance with manners.
You should not eat from the top of the plate or from the center of the food. In the hadith: “Eat from the sides of the plate and do not eat from the center, for the blessing descends in the center.”
- Also part of the etiquette is not to touch food with your hands, but with a spoon. Unless the meal is shared on a large plate, then there is nothing wrong with that. But eat from what is in front of you, and do not run your hand across the plate, and do not put your head forward when you put the food in your mouth.
When you take something out of your mouth, keep your face away from the food and take it with your left hand. If you break a piece of bread with your teeth, do not dip the remainder in the soup. Similarly, if you take something and place it on your plate or in your mouth, do not put it back again so that others will not be disgusted.
- Do not burp in front of someone, but turn your face away from them and burp quietly.
Do not smell the food with your nose. The Prophet (SAW) has forbidden it with his saying: “Do not smell food like a wild animal.”
If someone offers you food and you do not like it, do not show your dislike for him and reproach him or say, “I do not like it.” Rather, reason with him in a kind way, saying, “I hope you will forgive me.” Rather, reason with him in a kindly manner, saying, “I hope you will forgive me.” Or, “Thank you” and so on. It has been stated that the Prophet (SAW) never criticized food at all. :
In the hadith: “People served roasted monitor lizards to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) and he extended his hand to them.”
So the people said, “ja is a monitor lizard, O Messenger of Allah. Then he raised his hand.” So Khalid ibnul Walid r.a. said, “Is the monitor lizard haram, O Messenger of Allah?” He replied, “No, but it is not found in the land of my people so that you find me leaving it. He replied, “No, but it is not found in the land of my people so that you find me leaving it.”
- When you wash your hands, do not shake them after washing them so that the splashes do not get on any of those present. When you eat at someone’s place, pray for him after the meal and say, “O Allah, increase his goodness, bless him in the sustenance You grant him and make it easy for him to do good with it, satisfy him with what You give him and make us and him grateful.”
In the hadith: “The Prophet (SAW) broke his fast in the house of Sa’d bin Ubadah r.a. then he prayed and said: the fasting people break their fast in your place and your food is eaten by the righteous and the angels pray for you.”
The Prophet (SAW) ate at the house of Abdullah bin Busr r.a. then he said, “O Allah, bless them in the sustenance You give them and forgive and have mercy on them.”
If you attend a banquet, then do not take any food into your home. That is what is called a mistake. Unless the owner of the food allows it or you know his consent, then there is nothing wrong with that.
At that time take what you want or what your friends approve of. Do not attend a banquet to which you are not invited so that you become an uninvited guest. | In the hadith: “Whoever walks to a banquet to which he is not invited walks as an unjust person and what you eat is forbidden.”
6 MANNERS OF VISITING AND ASKING PERMISSION
- O son, you should pay attention to visiting your relatives, because this is part of your friendship. You should also pay attention to visiting your friends, so that there will be a lasting love between you and them.
In the hadith: “Whoever visits a sick person: or visits his brother for the sake of Allah, two angels call out: happy are you and good is your journey and you have Paradise as your home.”
- You must maintain the manners of visiting:
That is, you ask permission before entering by standing in front of the outer door so that you do not look at those inside the house.
In the hadeeth: “Verily, asking permission was made to guard the gaze.”
The Sunnah is that you say salam, then you ask permission, saying, “Assalamu’alaikum.” May I enter?
When the door is open, face the right or left side. As in the hadith: “It was the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) who, when he came to someone else’s door, did not face the door from his front, but from his right and left sides, then he said, “Assalamu’alaikum, assalamu’alaikum.” This was because houses at that time did not have screens.”
- If the door is closed, knock gently. If it has a bell, then ring it without startling and not loudly. Allah has taught us the manners of asking permission in the words of Allah Ta’ala:
“O you who believe, do not enter a house that is not your own until you have asked permission and greeted the occupants. That is better for you so that you may remember” (An-Nuur ” 27). If you do not find anyone, then do not enter until it is permitted to you.
- Ask for permission three times. In the hadith: “If one of you asks for permission three times, and it is not granted to him, then he should go home.” When it is said to you: Who are you, or who is at the door? Then answer by explaining your name. Do not say: I or your friend or I am one of those who love you, or anything like that, unless the host .hits you with your voice.
If so, there is nothing wrong with that. In the Mi’raj hadith: When Jibril asked to open the door, it was said to him: “Who is this?”
Gabriel replied, “Gabriel.” Companion Jabir r.a. said: I went to the Prophet and knocked on the door. Then he said, “Who is this?” I replied, “I am.” Then the Prophet SAW. “said, “Me, me,” apparently he did not like it.
A man knocked on the door of a scholar’s house. The scholar said, “Who?” The man replied, “Me.” So the pious man said, “I don’t know anyone among our friends named: Me.”
If it is said to you, “The host is not here,” then do not be angry. Do not think that he does not like to see you. Allah says:
“And when it is said to you: “Return,” then return. That is cleaner for you, and Allah knows best what you do” (An-Nuur: 28).
Families living in the same house sometimes each occupy a specific room, so permission must also be sought.
It is not permissible for a person to enter another person’s room except with his permission, even those closest to him such as his father and mother. In the hadith: “A man asked the Prophet whether I should ask permission to enter my mother’s room.” The Prophet replied, “Yes.” The man said, ‘I live with her at home.” The Prophet said, ‘ask her permission!” the man said, ‘I am her servant. ‘ So the Prophet said, “ask her permission!” do you like to see your mother naked? The man replied. ‘No’. The Prophet said, then, ask her permission.”
- Among the manners of visiting is that you should visit at an appropriate time, not when you are eating or sleeping or working, so that the person you are visiting will not mind or resent your visit. You should visit in a reasonable manner. Do not visit every day or on close days so that the host does not get tired of your visit. It is also good manners not to visit very little so as not to cause loneliness and disconnection.
In the hadith: “Visit after some time (Ijarangjarang), and you will increase your love.” Do not visit for a long time especially if the person you are visiting is busy or getting ready to go out or is about to eat, unless they ask you for it. If so, there is nothing wrong with it.
- You should wear clean clothes, look nice and sit in a proper place. Do not go ahead of someone who is older in age or position than you. Do not play with what you find in the living room such as: books and letters or tools or flowers or anything else. Do not take anything without the host’s permission. If you find a letter, do not read it out of curiosity.
In the hadith: “Whoever reads his brother’s letter without his permission is lurking in hell.”
Do not spit on the floor or rug, but in the spittoon or in a suitable place. You should be with your host in his joys and sorrows. If you wish to leave, ask his permission. If he gives you permission, then another guest comes, then remain seated for a while and do not rush out so that he does not think that you are standing because of him, and do not like to see him. Unless you are in a hurry, then tell him the reason for your departure and apologize to him.
- When someone visits you, welcome him with a bright and cheerful face and say, “Ahlan wa sahlan wa marhaban.”” Shake his hand while you are overjoyed at his visit, then seat him in a place that is suitable for him and ask him about his health and the health of his family, then speak to him with gentleness and politeness and a bright face. Serve your own guest. Allah Ta’ala has praised Prophet Ibrahim a.s. with His words:
“Has it reached you (Muhammad) the story of the glorified guests of Ibrahim (the angels)?” (Adz-Dzaariyaat: 24).
They were honored because Ibrahim himself served them and told his wife to serve them and serve them food immediately. Allah Ta’ala says: “So it was not long before Ibrahim served them roasted calf meat” (Huud: 69).
“So he went secretly to his family, then he brought them the meat of a fat calf (which was burnt)” (Adh-Dzaariyaat: 26).
In the hadith: “King Najashi (King of Habashah in Ethiopia) came to the Prophet Muhammad. then he himself served them. Then his companions said to him, we have enough for you, O Messenger of Allah. ‘He said, “No. They used to honor my companions, and I want to repay them.”
Imam As-Shaafa’i came to Imam Malik (may Allah have mercy on him). He served him food himself, poured water over his hands and said, “Do not be surprised at what you see.” Serving guests is obligatory.
- Serve your guest the food and drink that suits him if there is any, without being imposed upon, so that you do not feel hard done by. Do not say: shall I serve you food? Rather, serve the food first. If he likes it, let him eat. If he does not like it, then give him the food. Companion Salman Al-Farisi ra said, “The Messenger of Allah SAW. told us not to force din for guests by providing what “we don’t have and telling to serve what is available.”
Do not limit yourself in honoring your guests. In the hadith: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) stopped by a man who had many camels and cows, but did not entertain him as a guest and he stopped by a woman who had several goats. Then the woman slaughtered a goat for him. So he said: “Look at these two people. Verily, these manners are in the power of Allah. So whoever wants to be given good manners, does so.” In another hadith: – “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should honor his guest.” In another narration: “I and the righteous of my Ummah do not like to be pushy.”
The poet said:
The brightness of the human face is better and in the banquet then what about the person who gives the banquet while laughing
9 It is recommended that you encourage your guests to eat and encourage them. There is a long hadith from Abu Hurairah r.a. that the Prophet told him to call the people of Shuffah (the poor who lived in the Prophet’s mosque), and they attended. Then the Prophet SAW. fed them all and a glass of milk. Abu Hurairah recited the hadith until he said, “It was just me and you.” I said, “You are right, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet said, “Sit down and drink.” So I sat down and drank. Then he said, “Drink.” So I drank. He kept saying to me, “Drink!”, until I said, “No, by Allah who sent you with the truth. I can no longer drink it.” The Prophet said, “Give me some.” So I gave him the glass. Then he praised Allah and said basmalah and drank the rest.
- If someone comes to visit you, then do not hide from him and have a servant tell him that you are not at home or are sleeping. This is not good manners. It is forbidden because it is lying. You should meet your guest. If you feel tired, then endure it. If your guest asks you to leave, do not rush to give him permission, but ask him to be patient. If the guest asks you to leave, do not rush to give him permission, but ask him to be patient, unless he keeps pressing you for permission, then give him permission to leave and walk him to the door of your house or to the street, regretting his haste and thanking him for his visit and wishing him to visit often. The hadeeth says: “It is part of the Sunnah for a man to go out with his guest to the door of his house.”
7. ADAB VISITING THE SICK
- It is advisable for you to visit a sick person, especially if he is one of your relatives or neighbors or teachers or friends. If you hear of the sickness of one of them, you should visit him immediately to find out how he is, to bring joy to his heart, and to pray for his well-being. In the hadith: “The rights of a Muslim over a Muslim are five: answering the greeting, visiting the sick, delivering the dead, fulfilling the invitation and praying for the sneezer.” In another hadeeth: “No Muslim visits another Muslim in the morning, but he is prayed for by 70,000 angels until the afternoon. If he visits him in the evening, he will be prayed for by 70,000 angels until morning and he will have fruit in Paradise.”
Before you visit a sick person, you should first ask him whether he is able to receive his guest or not, so as not to burden him. If he is able to receive him, then come immediately to visit him. But if he is incapacitated or has a contagious disease, then it is sufficient to greet him and wish him well, and ask his family about his health.
- One of the manners of visiting a sick person is that you should sit with him lightly, so that he does not find it difficult to sit with you. Unless he is comforted by your presence, then there is nothing wrong with that. Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah have mercy on him) reported that he said: “It is part of the Sunnah to sit lightly and not to make loud noises when visiting the sick.”
In the hadith: “Visiting the sick is as long as milking the camel.” A Sufi scholar by the name of Sanyyu . As-Sagathiy rahimalullah said, “I was sick in the city of Turshus. A group of people came to visit me. They sat for so long that they made me weary. Then they asked for prayer and me. So I raised my hand and. I said: “O Allah, teach us how to visit the sick.” |
It is also good manners to ask him about his situation in words. This should be brief, if the answer is not burdensome for him. Otherwise it is sufficient to ask the person who is taking care of him. You should ask your question in a moderate voice, because a low voice may cause fear in his heart, while a loud voice may make him anxious and increase his illness. Place your hand on his forehead or hand. In the hadith: The perfection of visiting a sick person is when one of you puts his hand on his forehead or his hand and asks him how he is, or in one narration: how are you? And the sick person answers: I am well, Alhamdulillah.” If you see a change in his color or weakness in his body, do not show your concern over it so that he will not be frightened or shocked, and his illness will worsen. Rather encourage him and pray for his good health and long life. The hadeeth says: “When you visit a sick person, wish him a long life, for that denies him anything and will comfort him.” This is done by saying as in another hadeeth: There is nothing wrong with it, it is free from sin in sha’ Allah.
- You should not mention anything that annoys and disappoints him, such as telling him about the pain of illness and the difficulty of using medicines, or telling him: So-and-so used to get sick like you, and then he died. This is because it troubles him, and it distorts his mind and adds to his sickness. When a sick person complains to you, do not yell at him and scold him, but listen to his complaints and ease his suffering with gentle words such as saying to him: You are all right, your illness is mild; some people’s illnesses are worse than yours, but Allah hastens healing for them. If you see him ignoring the doctor’s advice, do not rebuke him harshly, but remind him gently and encourage him to follow the advice and use the medicine. If he does not want to eat, gently convince him to eat and do not force him to do so. In the hadith: “Do not force the sick among you to eat and drink, for Allah gives them food and drink.”
- It is recommended to whet his appetite. In the hadith: “That the Messenger of Allah SAW. visited an Anshor man, then he said, ‘What do you like?’ The man replied, ‘I like wheat bread.” Then a man stood up, then left and came with a piece of bread. So the Prophet gave the bread to him. Then he said: “If a sick person among you likes something, let him give it to him.” It is also recommended that you pray for him with the supplication that came from the Prophet (SAW): “I ask Allah, the Great. The Lord of the Great Throne that He heal you.” In the hadith: “Whoever visits a sick person who has not yet died, and says the aforementioned supplication in front of him seven times, Allah will cure him of his illness.”
It is also mustahabb for you to ask for supplication from him based on the hadith: “Visit the sick and let them supplicate for you, for the supplication of the sick is mustajab and his sins are forgiven.”
8 MANNERS OF THE SICK
- One of the manners of the sick is to be patient with his sickness. He should not be anxious or complain too much; rather, he should be content with the sickness that Allah has ordained for him, so that he will be rewarded for it.
It is mentioned in the hadith: “No believer is afflicted with hardship and sickness, distress and sorrow, disturbance and distress, even if a thorn strikes him, but Allah expiates his sins with them.”
He should pray to Allah to heal himself as in the hadith: “A man complained of bodily pain to the Prophet SAW. so the Prophet SAW. said to him, put your hand on the part of your body that hurts and say Bismillah (three times), and then say (seven times): I seek refuge with the might of Akah and His power from the evil of what I feel and fear.”
- He should use medicine that is beneficial to his health. According to the hadith: “Seek treatment, all of you, for Allah does not send down a disease but He sends down a cure for it.”
He should believe that healing is from Allah, not from medicine. As Allah says in narrating the story of His prophet Ibrahim a.s.: “And when I was sick, it was He (Allah) who healed me” (Asysyu’ara: 80).
He should be very wary of leaving the prayer when he is sick or delaying it after the time He should pray according to his ability as the Prophet said. to Sayyidina Imran bin Hushan ra who suffered from bawasir (= anal disease): “Pray while standing. If you are unable, then sitting. If you are unable, then on your side. If you are unable, then lying down. Allah does not force anyone, but according to his ability.”
It is permissible for a sick person to combine Zhuhr and ‘Asr prayers, whether tagdim or ta’khir, and Maghnb and ‘Isha’ prayers, if he feels sick at the time of entering ihram for both prayers, and when he says the greeting of peace and the first salutation, and between them. If he is unable to do wudoo’, let someone help him to do so. If he is unable to do wudoo’, then let someone help him to do wudoo’, and if he is unable to do wudoo’, then let him do tayammum, and let him guard his din from impurity, because the matter is very serious, and not make light of it, as some sick people do. He should not break the fast of Ramadaan if he is able to do so. If he is unable to do so, then he should hasten to make up the fasts when he recovers.
- When he has recovered, he should give thanks to Allah for his recovery and ask Him for a long life in obeying Him, with bounty and safety. In the hadith: “Ask Allah for forgiveness and health, for no one is given after belief better than good health.”
In hadith lan: “The best of you are the longest-lived among you and the best in deeds.”
He should remember the kindness of those who served him and visited him during his sickness, and should thank them and visit them in their homes whenever possible. The hadith says: “Whoever does not thank people does not thank Allah.”
He should fulfill his promise to Allah during his illness to repent and do righteous deeds.
It is narrated that the Prophet visited Khawwaat bin Jubair r.a. during his illness and said to him: “Is your body well, O Khawwaat?” I replied: “And your body, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “Be true to what you promise to Allah.” I said: “I did not promise anything to Allah, the Glorious and the Great. The Prophet said: “Yes. Indeed, no servant suffers pain, but Allah, the Glorious and Exalted, causes good. So fulfill what you promised to : Allah.”
9. MANNERS OF VISITING TAKZIYAH
- When you hear of someone’s death it is recommended that you say: “Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji’un wa innaa ilaa robbinaa lamungalibuun. Verily we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return, and verily we return to our Lord. O Allah, write him down in Your sight among those who have done good and convey his record book in the “Illiyyin and replace him in his family among the living. do not make his reward unlawful for us and do not cause us a fitnah after he is gone.” then go to his family to visit them by relieving their grief and comforting them for their calamity and telling them of the great reward for patience and forbidding them to complain which takes away the reward and causes sin. You say to him: “May Allah increase your reward and grant you good patience for what has befallen you and forgive the sins of those who have died from you. For Allah is what He takes and for Him is what He gives, everything with Him has a certain time.”
Such is this world and such is the end of every living thing “Every soul shall taste death.” (Ali Imran: 185).
In the hadeeth: “No believer comforts his brother in his calamity except that Allah, the Almighty, will clothe him with garments of honor on the Day of Judgment.”
- You should join the deceased’s family in their grief. So do not show joy in their presence by wearing fancy clothes or laughing or smiling or joking with others and do not talk much or talk about the circumstances of the deceased as long as it is not started: “by his family and relatives. At that time praise him and the good things he has done. Do not mention anything bad about him. The Prophet (SAW) has said: “Mention the virtues of the dead among you and do not mention their vices.” It is recommended to make takziyah before the burial and afterwards and it is makrooh after three days, because it renews grief. Unless the person making the takziyah or the person receiving the takziyah is absent, then the takziyah should continue until he comes.
- You should help the family of the deceased to the best of your ability and try to attend the prayers on his behalf and deliver his body, because this is one of the rights of your fellow Muslims and has great virtue.
The hadeeth says: “Whoever attends the dead person until he is prayed over will receive one girath, and whoever attends until he is buried will receive two giraths. Someone said: What are the two giraths? He replied: “like two large mountains.”
10. MANNERS OF PEOPLE WHO EXPERIENCE CALAMITY
- When a person experiences the death of one of his relatives or friends, he should be patient and steadfast. He should say: “Verily we belong to Allah and to Him we return. O Allah, reward me for my misfortune and replace me with something better than it.”
In the hadeeth: “Whoever says that, Allah will reward him for his calamity and compensate him with something better than that.”
Said Umm Salaman r.a.: “When Abu Salamah died, I said what the Messenger of Allah (SAW) had told me to say.” So Allah Ta’ala replaced him with someone better than him, namely the Messenger of Allah SAW. In another hadith: “When the son of Allah’s servant dies, Allah Ta’ala says to His angels, “Did you take away the life of My servant’s son?” They said, “Yes. Allah says: ‘Did you take the life of his son?’ They say: ‘Yes. ‘ Allah Ta’ala said, ‘What does My servant say?’ They replied, ‘He praises You and seeks Your protection by saying: Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji’un. Then Allah Ta’ala said: Build for My servant a house of worship and call it Baitul Hamdi (house of praise).”
- One should beware of mourning the deceased by mentioning his good deeds with weeping and raising his voice, because this indicates that he is not pleased with Allah’s decree and His fate, and it is haraam to do so. The same applies to slapping the cheeks, scratching the face, tearing clothes and hitting the chest. In the hadeeth: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) disassociated himself from the woman who raises her voice in lamentation and the woman who shaves her hair and tears her clothes when she is afflicted.”
As for crying without wailing and raising the voice, it is not forbidden. In the hadeeth: “When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was informed of the death of the son of his daughter Zainab (r.a.), he shed tears. Sa’d bin Ubadah r.a. said to him: “What is this, O Messenger of Allah?” He replied: “This is the mercy that Allah has put in the hearts of His servants. Indeed, Allah has mercy on His merciful servants.”
11 MANNERS OF VISITING TO CONGRATULATE
- If your friend passes an exam or comes back from traveling or recovers from an illness or feels happy for some reason, it is recommended that you visit him and congratulate him, so that his joy will increase and his love for you will become stronger because you are happy with him. Allah has given glad tidings to His believing servants in the words of Allah: “Their Lord gladdens them with mercy and pleasure from Him and Paradise in which they will have everlasting enjoyment.” (At-Taubah: 21).
When the verse was revealed to the Prophet (SAW): “That Allah may forgive you your previous and future sins” (Al-Fath: 2), on his return from Hudaibiyah, the Prophet (SAW) said: “A verse has been revealed to me that I love more than anything on earth.”
Then he recited it to the Companions. So they said “Congratulations to you, O Messenger of Allah” (Alhadith).
The Prophet (SAW) gave good news to Sayyidah Khadijah r.a. about a house for her in paradise of pearls, no fuss there and no hardship.
The Prophet asked Ubay bin Ka’ab r.a., “Which verse is the greatest in the Book of Allah?” Ubay replied, “The Verse of Kursi.” The Prophet said, “Congratulations to you on your Faith, Abal Mundzir.”
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) delivered a sermon at the end of the month of Sha’ban, and said: “O people, you have been shaded by a great month, a blessed month in which there is a night better than a thousand months.” (Alhadith). This is evidence for the recommendation to congratulate the arrival of Ramadan and Eid.
- When giving good news to your friend, you should greet him with a smiling face and a soul filled with joy, saying to him when he comes from traveling: “Praise be to Allah who saved you. Or praise be to Allah for bringing me together with you.” Or, “I congratulate you for arriving safely or something like that.” And when returning from Hajj, “May Allah accept your Hajj and forgive your sins and reimburse you.” Or, “May it be a Mabrur Hajj and an acceptable deed and a trade in which there will be no loss.” When congratulating a marriage, “May Allah bless you and bless you and gather you both in goodness.” And when a baby is born, “May Allah bless you in that baby and you thank Allah for giving it, may it reach adulthood and be devoted to you.” As your friend answers you, he says, “May Allah bless you and bless you. May Allah reward you with goodness and may Allah grant you the like of him.”
When congratulating the arrival of Ramadan, “A blessed month.” And at the time of Hari Raya, “May we be among those who return and are fortunate with the pleasure of the Lord of all worlds, every year and you always be in good.”
12 MANNERS OF TRAVELING
- Know that traveling can be obligatory such as going for Hajj to the sacred House of Allah and studying knowledge which is obligatory. It can also be Sunnah such as visiting the grave of the Prophet (SAW) or visiting the saints and righteous people or parents and relatives or visiting companions and friends. It can be permissible such as traveling for trade or sightseeing.
- If you want to travel, then pray istikhoroh (asking Allah’s guidance) first and ask permission from your parents and teachers. When you are free and they give you permission, then start by returning other people’s things to their owners, just as you would take something without the owner’s permission. And you return things that have been entrusted to you, and loans, and pay off debts, and provide for those whom you are obliged to provide for. Then you prepare the will that you need and provide halal and good provisions. Ask your Lord for forgiveness from all disobedience and sins and seek His help on your journey.
- Then choose a righteous companion to help you in goodness and take away from you the hardships of the journey. “Choose a companion before the road” as mentioned in the hadith.
The Prophet (SAW) forbade traveling alone. He said: “A rider is a devil, two riders are two devils and three riders are a group.”
Then say goodbye to your parents and teachers, your friends and neighbors, and ask forgiveness from them and everyone with whom you have dealt in some way. In the hadith: “If any of you wants to travel, let him say goodbye to his brothers, for Allah, the Almighty, will bless their prayers for him.”
Say the du’a that was narrated: “I entrust you to Allah, who does not lose his entrustment.” It is mustahabb for the resident to take the traveler and supplicate for him with the supplication in the hadeeth, which is: “I entrust to Allah your religion and your trust and the end of your deeds in the care of Allah and His protection. May Allah provide you with piety and forgive your sins and direct you for good wherever you are.” Pray two raka’ats when you want to leave your house and recite in the first raka’at : Qul yaa ayyuhal kaafirun. In the second raka’at : Qul huwallahu ahad. After saying the salam, recite : ayat Kursi.
It is narrated in the hadith that whoever recites the verse of Kursi before he leaves his house will not be afflicted with anything he dislikes until he returns home. You should also recite surah : Li iilaafi Qurayshin. Some of the scholars said, “This surah causes protection from all harm.”
- When you pray at the door of your house, recite the du’a on leaving the house as mentioned in the adab of walking and put your left foot first.
When you are upright on the vehicle, say Takbir three times, then say: “Glory be to Allah who subjected this vehicle to us and we were not able to master it before. And indeed we will return to our Lord” (Az-Zukhruf: 13,14).
“O Allah, we ask You in our journey for virtue and piety and deeds that You are pleased with.”
‘”O Allah, make light of our journey and draw near to us the long distance. O Allah, you are our companion on the journey and our substitute in the family. O Allah, me.”
“O Allah, make light of our journey and draw near to us the distance. O Allah, You are our companion on the journey and our substitute in the family. O Allah, I seek refuge with You from the hardships of the journey and the sad sights and bad circumstances in wealth, family and children.”
When you return, recite the previous prayer and add. “We return, we repent, we worship and we thank our Lord.”
As narrated in the hadith: when you fear people or others, then say :
“O Allah, we make You their adversary and we seek refuge with You from their evil.” When you fear the shaitan, say the adhan, for when he hears the adhan, he will flee.
Be on your way an example of good manners. You honor those who are older than you and you love children who are younger than you. You put others before yourself in appropriate places, especially if they are weak or sick. You treat all your friends with kindness. You speak gently to them and fulfill their needs. Do not be stingy in giving them food or anything else. Do not quarrel with them or do anything that annoys them. Beware of distracting the driver of the vehicle by talking, arguing and quarreling.
- It is recommended to travel on Thursday. In the hadith: “Rarely did the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) travel other than on Thursday.” The journey should start in the early afternoon. In the hadith: “O Allah, bless my people in the early morning.” When you have finished your work, return immediately. In the hadith: “Traveling is part of the punishment.” It prevents one of you from eating and drinking and sleeping. So when one of you finishes his business, let him return to his family immediately.
When you see your city, say: “O Allah, make for us tranquility and good provision there.”
And say: “We return, we repent, we worship and we thank our Lord,” until you enter the city. When you enter your house, say: “We return, we return and we repent to our Lord who has left us no sin.”
You should return during the day. In the hadith: “The Messenger of Allah after traveling did not come to his family at night. He came to them in the morning or evening.”
Before entering your house, start by praying two raka’ats in the mosque nearest to it. This is sunnah.
It is also mustahabb for you to bring gifts to your family, because people’s eyes are watching someone who has just come from traveling. It is recommended to cheer them up, so it is mentioned in the hadith: “If he has nothing with him, let him put a stone in his basket.”
13 DRESS CODE
- It is advisable for you to wear clothes to cover the ‘awrah that Allah has commanded you to cover, so that you will be rewarded for your intention, and so that you will be grateful for the blessing of clothing. Allah has bestowed clothing in His words: “O son of Adam, We have sent down to you garments to cover your nakedness and beautiful garments for adornment” (Al-A’raaf: 26).
In another verse: “And He (Allah) made for you garments that keep you from the heat” (An-Nahl: 81).
- You start with the right hand. In the hadith: “When you put on clothes and when you perform ablution, start with your right hand.” After saying the basmalah, you say: “O Allah, I ask You for its goodness and the goodness of the aurat it covers, and I seek refuge with You from its evil and the evil of the aurat it covers. Praise be to Allah who gave me this garment and granted it to me without any power or strength on my part.”
Be careful not to uncover your ‘awrah unnecessarily. If it is necessary to do so, recite the du’a contained in the hadith, in which the covering of the human ‘awrah from the sight of the jinn is : “In the name of Allah, there is no god but He.” When removing clothes start with your present hand.
- When you put on your new clothes, give away your old clothes, the Prophet said: “Whoever puts on a new shirt, then says : Praise be to Allah who gave me clothes to cover my nakedness and so that I am adorned with them in my life, then he takes a worn-out shirt and donates it, then he is also in the care and protection of Allah and is in the way of Allah in life and death.”
- You should wear clothing that is strong and appropriate to your position and durable without being ornate. Do not make it your desire to collect clothes – and vary in shaping and arranging them and choosing them from a variety of bright and attractive colors, because that is a woman’s business and does not suit the manliness of men. A man is judged by his manners, not by his fashions and clothes. In the hadith: “Whoever wears clothes for fame in this world, Allah will put on him clothes of humiliation on the Day of Judgment and then light a fire on him.”
The poet said:
If a person’s honor is not tainted by dishonor, every shirt he wears is good.
Another poet said:
It is not beauty because of the clothes that adorn us, in fact, beauty is the beauty of knowledge and manners.
- You should improve your appearance and clean your clothes. For a man who is well dressed and clean in clothes will have good feelings and love order and regulation. As for the one who neglects his clothes, he will neglect his affairs and have no feelings. In the hadith: “Verily, Allah is the Most Beautiful and loves beauty, which is good in His deeds and perfect in His attributes.” The Prophet (pbuh) gave a will to a group of people, and he said: “You will go to your brothers. So repair your vehicles and dress yourselves so that you appear to be in good habits among the people.”
Aisha r.a. reported: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) wanted to go out one day to the Companions. So he straightened his turban and hair. Then Aisha said, “Why did you do that, O Messenger of Allah?” He replied, “Yes, Allah likes His servant to adorn himself for his brothers when he goes out to them.”
Pay attention to the cleanliness of your clothes and keep your clothes from being soiled by anything, especially by things that are difficult to remove such as ink or oil. Also, keep your clothes from tearing or wearing out. If your clothes are wet with sweat, let them air out. When it is dry, fold it gently and put it in its proper place while mentioning the name of Allah. In the hadith: “When you fold your clothes, mention the name of Allah for them, so that the jinn do not use them at night and you wear them during the day and they wear out quickly.”
- Do not put your skullcap forward, for that is the custom of those who are proud and boast of themselves. You should also not stretch out your sarong, for this is detrimental to health by causing dirt to stick to it on the way and causing it to tear quickly. It also shows pride. In the hadith: “The sarong that extends past the heels, its place is in hell. Whoever drags his garment with pride, Allah will not look upon him (i.e. not give him mercy) on the Day of Resurrection.”
Also avoid the likeness of women in your dress.
In the hadith: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) cursed men who wear women’s clothes and women who wear men’s clothes.”
You shall not wear silk and gold.
In the hadith: “Whoever wears silk in this world will not wear it in the Hereafter.” In another hadith: “The wearing of silk and gold is forbidden for my Ummah’s men, but it is permitted for their women.”
- Do not imitate the disbelievers and the wicked in your dress. In the hadith: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” It is also recommended that you wear white clothes. In the hadith: “Wear a white shirt, for fa is your best shirt.”
Do not wear clothes that are upside down or dirty or torn or have broken buttons, for that is inappropriate for you. Do not wear clothes that are wet and then you go out into the wind, for that is harmful to your health. Choose clothes that are moderate in their looseness and narrowness, because clothes that are very loose are ugly to look at and those that are narrow disturb the body, because they compress the limbs and stop the flow of blood.
Wear proper clothes when praying and do not pray without a head covering, as this is a breach of modesty. Allah says: “O son of Adam, put on your beautiful clothes at every entrance to the mosque” (A-A’raaf: 31). That is, at the time of prayer and tawaf.
14 MANNERS AT BEDTIME
- Sleep is a necessity for man, as it restores his strength lost during work. The best time to sleep is at night, as there is tranquility in it.
Not sleeping through the night is harmful to health, as it prevents one from getting enough restful sleep and causes digestive difficulties, weakness, headaches and diseases of the mind. Daytime sleep cannot replace nighttime sleep. You should sleep at the beginning of the night so that you wake up early in the morning. It is not permissible to sleep for very long, as this leads to weakness and laziness, and prevents work and waste of time. It is sufficient for a young person to sleep for 8 hours and not to go to bed immediately after dinner, because it causes startling dreams. Sometimes it causes sleeplessness and also causes hardness of heart. As in the hadith: “Melt your food with the name of Allah and prayer.”
Do not sleep when you are full so that your heart will not be hardened. Sleep for at least two hours after eating and do not sleep except after fulfilling your obligations, such as prayer or reading. If you miss any of them, then fulfill them at a later time.
In the hadeeth: “Whoever sleeps off his Witr prayer or forgets it, let him offer it when he remembers.”
- Wear clothes specifically for sleeping. It should not be cramped so as to create tranquility. Take off your daily clothes and put them in place so that it will be easy for you to pick them up in the morning, then shake out your bed. In the hadith: “When any of you comes to his bed, let him shake out/clean his bedclothes (sheets or blankets), for he does not know what is in them.” This means that there may be insects crawling on it.
Lie down on your right side facing the qiblah and praise your Lord who saved you throughout your day and gave you the ability to fulfill your duties. Ask Allah to protect you during your sleep and to save you from intruders. Quiet your heart and empty it of thoughts so that your sleep will be comfortable, and cleanse your heart from grudges: and envy against someone from the Muslims.
- Intend to do good when you wake up and ask forgiveness for your sins, saying: “I seek forgiveness from Allah, the Glorious, for whom there is no God but He, the Eternal Living and Self-Sufficient, and repent to Him (three times).”
In the hadith: “Whoever says that when he goes to sleep, Allah Ta’ala forgives his sins, even if they are as much as foam. sea” Then recite : In the name of my Lord I lay down my side and in Your name I take it up. If You take my life, have mercy on him. And if You spare him, preserve him as You preserve Your righteous servants. O Allah, protect me from Your punishment on the day when You resurrect Your slaves (three times).
Then, blow on your palms (blowing – gently without spitting). Recite on both palms : (Qul huwallahu ahad), (Qul a’udzu bi robbil falaq)” and (Qul a’udzu bi robbin naas).
Then wipe the palms of your hands as much as you can over your body, starting with the head and face and the front of the body. This is mentioned in the hadith. Then say: Subhanallah (thirty-three times), alhamdulillah (thirty-three times) and Allahu Akbar (thirty-three times).
Then recite the Ayat Kursi and “Aamanar rasuulu” until the end of Sūrat al-Baqarah. It has been mentioned in the hadith the great reward for whoever recites them.
- You should sleep in a state of remembrance of Allah and perform ablution so that your spirit may be taken up to the Throne and written as one who prayed until you wake up. You should end your sleep with good deeds. In the hadith: “When a man is about to sleep, the angels and shaytans come to him. The angel says, ‘O Allah, end him with good.” The shaitan says, ‘End it with badness. If he mentions the name of Allah, then goes to sleep, the angels watch over him throughout the night.” End your prayer with this prayer: “O Allah, I surrender myself to You, I turn my face to You, I submit my affairs to You and I protect my back to You out of hope and fear of You. There is no refuge and no place of safety from You except You. I believe in Your Book that You have revealed and Your Prophet that You have sent.” If you recite that and die that night, then you are in a state of fitrah (pure and clean from minor sins). If you live until morning, then you are in good. This is what is mentioned in the hadith.
After that recite surah Al-Kaafiruun. Then go to sleep after reciting it, and it will free you from shirk. This is what is mentioned in the hadith.
- Do not sleep on your stomach, for that is not in accordance with etiquette and it depresses breathing and causes startling dreams. According to the hadith: “This is a form of sleep that Allah hates.”
Do not sleep on your back so as not to drift off in your sleep or fantasize about frightening things or feel as if something heavy is on your chest. Do not cover your face while sleeping, for it causes lung diseases by inhaling foul air. Avoid the cold by closing the windows and wearing a warm blanket so that you may be protected from colds and stomach aches and contagious influenza and aching joints. That is because it affects him and disturbs him. ‘
- Don’t leave the fire burning before you go to bed.
In the hadith: “Do not allow fire in your houses while you sleep.” A house in Madinah caught fire on its occupants during the night. When the Prophet was informed of their plight, he said: “Verily this fire is an enemy to you. If you sleep, put out the fire.”
You should not sleep at times that are forbidden for us to sleep. In the hadith: “Whoever sleeps before the last Isha’ prayer, then may Allah not put his eyes to sleep.” Whoever sleeps after the ‘Asr prayer and loses his mind, let him not blame anyone but himself. Sleeping in the morning (after Fajr prayer) prevents provision. Sleeping at Dhuha time causes dullness and foolishness.
15 MANNERS OF WAKING UP
- When you wake up from sleep, let the first thing that comes to your heart and tongue be the remembrance of Allah, may He be exalted, so that you may begin your watch with goodness and end it with it.
In the hadith: “The Shaytan ties the back of the head of one of you while he sleeps with three ties. He strikes at each tie saying, Stay where you are, the night is still long, sleep. If he wakes up and mentions the name of Allah, one bond is untied. If he performs ablution, one bond is untied. If he prays, all his bonds are loosed. Then he becomes active and good. Otherwise, he becomes evil and lazy.”
Try hard to get up before dawn so that you can pray Fajr at its earliest time. In : hadith: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) was asked, “What is the best deed?” He replied, “Praying at the beginning of its time.”
Be careful not to wake up late. Delaying the prayer from its time without a valid reason is one of the major sins. Allah says: “Woe to those who pray. Yartu those who neglect their prayers” (Al Maa’uun: 4,5).
The Prophet (SAW) said. “They are the ones who delay the prayer from its time.”
In the hadith: A man was brought to the Prophet: SAW. and said: he still sleeps until the morning and does not pray. So the Prophet said: “Shaytan urinates in his ear.”
If a person is like this, then he does not receive kindness and advice has no effect on him.
- It is mustahabb for you to use the tooth-stick when you wake up, and then recite these du’aa’: “Praise be to Allah, who has brought us back to life after killing us, and to Him we shall be resurrected.” “Praise be to Allah who restores my spirit to me and gives me health in my body and allows me to mention His name.” “Praise be to Allah who created sleep and wakefulness.”
“Praise be to Allah who resurrected me safe and sound. I testify that Allah brings the dead back to life and that He is over all things. There is no God but Allah, there is no partner for Him, to Him belongs all authority and to Him belongs all praise, and He is over all things.”
“Glory be to Allah, all praise be to Allah, there is no God but Allah and Allah is the Greatest, there is no power and strength except with the help of Allah, the Most High and the Most Great.” “There is no God but You, Glory be to You O Allah and all praise be to You, I ask You for forgiveness for my sins and I ask You for Your mercy.”
“O my Lord, increase me in knowledge and do not misguide my heart after You have guided me and grant me mercy from Your side, surely You are the Bestower.” Then you look up to the sky and recite the end of Surah ‘Ali Imran: “Surely in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of night and day there are signs for the wise,” until the end of the surah. If you do not know these prayers and verses by heart, then there is nothing wrong with reciting them while looking until you memorize them by reciting and repeating them frequently.
- Then put on your clothes and recite the previous prayer on the manners of dressing. Then go to the restroom wearing sandals and covering your head. Put your left foot in first and your right foot out.
Do not forget the prayers derived from the hadith at the time of ftu, and when finishing wudhu. Then pray two raka’ahs of fajr and intend the sunnah of wudhu. After that recite the fajr du’aa’ as found in the hadith at the beginning: “O Allah, I ask You for mercy and favor from Your side.” Then pray Fajr prayer in congregation. After that recite the famous Wirdul Lathif composed by Al-imam Al-Habib Abdullah Alhaddad r.a. He has collected it and the hadiths are sahih (correct). So keep reciting it, for it is of great benefit in this world and the Hereafter.
16 ADAB ISTIKHOROH AND DELIBERATION
- If you want to do something that you do not know the consequences of, which is better, leaving it or doing it? Then it is included in the adab if you ask for a choice from your Lord Allah SWT The Prophet SAW. said: “Part of the happiness of the son of Adam is to ask Allah for a choice and part of his misery is to leave istikhoroh (asking for a choice) to Allah SWT.
It is mustahabb for you to pray istikhoroh. You recite in the first raka’at: (Qul yaa ayyuhal kaafiruun) and in the second raka’at: (Qul huwallahu ahad).
It is mentioned in the hadith: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) taught us istikhoroh in all matters such as teaching a letter from the Quran. He said: “When one of you wants to do a matter, let him pray two raka’ats in addition to the fard prayer.” Then say: “O Allah, I ask You for Your choice with Your knowledge and ask You for Your decision with Your power and ask You for Your great virtue. Indeed, You are powerful and I am not powerful, You know and I do not know, and You are the Knower of all that is unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter (mention your need) is good for me in my religion, then I am in it. If in Your knowledge this affair is bad for me in my religion, my life and the end of my uru’s, then keep it away from me and keep me away from it and establish good for me wherever it is, then make me ndha with it.”
- It is also good manners to consult with your mothers and fathers and your teachers and those who are wise and able to give advice. Allah has told His Prophet to do that. Allah Ta’ala says: “And deliberate with them about it” (Ali ‘Imran: 159), even though he was a man of perfect intelligence, and Allah ensured guidance for him. Allah Ta’ala also said in praise of the Companions r.a.: “And their affairs were deliberated among them” (Assyuura: 38).
In the hadith:: “He who makes istikhoroh is not in vain, and he who deliberates is not in vain.” Also in the hadith: “Deliberation protects against regret and safeguards against reproach.”
The poet said:
Consult with others if you have difficulty with a hani, even if you like to give advice The eye sees what is near and far from it and does not see itself, except with a mirror
- If you are advised to do something, then do it according to that advice. In the hadith: “Seek guidance from a man of understanding and do not disobey him so that you will not regret it.” If a person asks you for guidance, then it is a trust that you give him guidance that is better for him.
In the hadith: “The advisor bears a trust.” In another hadeeth: “It is one of the rights of a Muslim over a Muslim that if he seeks advice from him, he should advise him.”