Akhlak lil banat Volume 3

MUKADDIMAH

 

Praise be to Allah, the Giver, who commanded us to adorn ourselves with good manners.

 

Peace and blessings be upon the giver of role models, who encouraged us to follow the commands of the Qur’an. Our lord, Sayyidina Muhammad, and his family and companions who had the brains to be fortunate and safe because of their efforts to approach Allah.

 

Then: this is the third volume of Al-akhlaq Lil Banaat (Moral Guidance for Your Daughters), for which there is a great need, as many requests have been received.

 

So I ask Allah, the Most High and Glorious, that the benefits of this book will spread evenly, and that it will quench the thirst of its readers.

 

Verily, Allah is All-powerful over all things, and All-accepting of prayers.

 

Author: Al-Ustadz Umar bin Achmad Baradja

 

Surabaya, 1 Dhul Qi’dah 1400 AH.

 

 

 

 

BOOK INTRODUCTION

 

O beloved daughter!

 

(1) Verily, Allah created man in this world in preference to animals by giving him reason and religion, a tongue and morals.

 

Islam has placed good manners at the top of the list of concerns and made them obligatory for individuals and society, for the sake of the uprightness of individual and societal life.

 

Human beings will lose their lives if they have bad morals. A person loses most of his good deeds if he becomes a liar and spiteful, evil, boastful and so on.

 

Likewise, their society will be affected by the spread of these corrupt morals, so that their lives are always hostile and quarrelsome, fighting each other and fighting.

 

(2) Islam strongly recommends good manners that lead to pleasure and happiness, and warns against bad manners that lead to destruction and misery.

 

Islam recommends two ways to protect oneself from moral corruption.

 

First: Forbidding the three sources of evil, namely alcohol, gambling and adultery.

Second: Obliging amar ma’ruf nahi munkar (enjoining virtue and forbidding evil).

 

(3) Humans are in dire need of morals in all circumstances. If he has no morals, then death is more appropriate for him than life, as Imam Ash-Shafi’i r.a. said:

 

Allah has not given man a gift more excellent than reason and manners. They make a young man alive and if he does not have them, then it is better for him to die.

 

(4) The Prophet (SAW) has stated that the purpose of his mission to mankind is to spread noble morals. So he said: “In fact, I was sent only to perfect good manners.”

 

God praised him for his good character. Allah says: “You are indeed of excellent character” (Al-Qalam:4).

 

The Prophet (SAW) likened the relationship between good manners and religion to the relationship between a container and its contents. The Prophet said: “Verily, morals are the container of religion.”

 

(5) There are many hadiths that explain the recommendation of noble character, among others:

 

“Verily Allah adorns Islam with noble manners and good deeds.”

“Blessed is the person whose heart is sincere to faith and clean, whose tongue loves to speak the truth, his soul is calm and his morals are upright.”

“The glory of faith comes when people are safe from you, while the glory of Islam comes when people are safe from your tongue and hands.”

“A person of bad character will not enter Paradise.”

“Good morals melt sins, just as water melts snow. Bad manners spoil charity as vinegar spoils honey.”

“Good manners lead to good fortune while bad manners lead to bad luck.”

 

(6) A wise man spoke of praiseworthy manners, saying, “He is the treasury of sustenance.” Another said, “Whoever has bad manners, his sustenance is limited and he torments himself. So he is always living with people in the mire of slander and enmity, quarreling and strife.”

 

The spacious earth feels cramped to him, as a poet said:

For the sake of your life, a land does not become narrow because of its many inhabitants, but it is the morals of the people that make it narrow.

 

Others said:

 

If people’s morals do not become spacious, the vast land will become narrow.

 

Syaugi, a famous poet, said:

 

Nations live as long as they have morals When their morals disappear, they perish.

 

He said:

 

The buildings of a people do not prosper when their souls are in ruins.

 

(7) So strive to produce good manners so that you will be happy in this world and the Hereafter. In the hadith it is said: “Verily, manners are from Allah. So whoever Allah wills good for him, Allah will grant him good manners. And whoever Allah wills bad for him, then Allah gives him bad manners.”

 

Egyptian poet Hafizh Ibrahim said:

 

If you are endowed with praiseworthy morals then

The sustenance divider has chosen you

Some people are wealthy, some are knowledgeable, and some are noble.

 

(8) Pay more attention to your moral education than you do to acquiring knowledge.

 

In the hadith it is said: “Verily, the most severely punished person on the Day of Judgment will be the scholar whom Allah did not benefit with his knowledge.”

 

Former Egyptian President Sa’ad Zaghlul Pasya said, “We don’t need a lot of knowledge, but we need a lot of noble morals.”

 

(9) What good is it for you to have knowledge and wealth, clothes and a good appearance if your manners are bad? Al-Mutanabbi said:

 

A young man’s appearance is not a glory to him if his deeds and morals are not good.

 

Di’bil said:

Their handsome faces are not good if their morals are bad

 

(10) With what should the hearts of fathers and mothers be proud of their sons and daughters?

 

Is it because of the breadth of knowledge and the variety of languages, or the skill in embroidery and the ability to sew, even though their morals and customs are corrupt and they like to neglect prayers and obligations?

 

Never! Indeed, the first thing that pleases them and soothes their hearts is when they see their daughters adhering to religion, obeying and submitting to their Lord and Prophet, recognizing the rights of father and mother and humanity. They fulfill their duties towards everyone and benefit themselves before their families and nations. Then parents are also happy when they see their flesh and blood educated, understanding the affairs of the world and religion.

 

(11) Familiarize yourself with good manners from childhood so that they become your disposition and character in old age. A wise man said, “Whoever is accustomed to a certain trait in his youth, will carry that trait in his old age.”

 

If you neglect yourself and follow your lusts until you become accustomed to bad manners, then it will be very difficult for you to receive education in old age. It is very tiring to train an old man and it is torture to train a wolf.

 

Imam al-Bushiri (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

 

Lust is like a baby, which if you leave it alone it gets used to suckling, and if you wean it, it stops suckling.

 

(12) Here I present to you the third installment of the book “Guidance of Manners” in the hope that you will receive a favorable reception, enjoy reading it and have the sincere intention of practicing its contents, as you have done in the first and second installments.

 

Thus, God willing, your akhiak will be educated, your life will be happy and you will be saved from the trials of the times, the armies of the shaytans and get the pleasure of the Most Merciful God. To Allah we ask for help.

 

Author: Al-Ustadz Umar bin Achmad Baradja

 

 

 

 

 

KINDS OF MANNERS

1.MANNERS AT WALKING TIME

 

There are manners in walking. O beloved daughter! You must practice them in order to be safe from harm and live honorably among the people.

 

  1. You put your left foot first when you leave the house, saying: “In the name of Allah, I surrender to Allah; there is no power or strength except with the help of Allah. O Allah, I seek refuge with You so that I do not go astray or be misled by people, slip or be derailed by people, ignore or be ignored by people, mistreat or be mistreated by people.”

 

You should walk for the benefit of yourself and others, and not for sin or to annoy people, for your feet are a trust like the rest of your body.

 

He will bear witness to your deeds on the Day of Resurrection. Allah says: “On the day when their tongues, hands and feet will bear witness against them as to what they had done” (An-Nuur:24).

 

  1. You should walk moderately, neither too fast nor too slow.

 

Allah says: “And be modest in your walk” (Lugman:19).

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “Walking fast takes away the beauty of the believer’s demeanor.” In another narration: “The beauty of the face”.

 

There is nothing wrong with walking fast if it is for an important purpose. In the hadith: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) offered the ‘Asr prayer, then he walked quickly and entered the house. The people were afraid of him. So. he said: I remembered a bit of gold that was in our place. So I did not want him to hinder me so I told the companions to distribute it.”

 

  1. You should not walk in one sandal. This is because the hadith states: “Let none of you walk in only one sandal, but wear both or take both off.”

 

Do not stamp your feet or sandals on the earth. Allah says: “Do not walk arrogantly. Verily, Allah does not like those who are proud of themselves” (Luqman:18).

 

In another verse Allah says: “And walk not on the earth with pride, for verily you shall not penetrate the earth nor shall you reach the height of the mountains” (Al-Israa’:37).

 

You should not sway to the right or to the left, nor should you wave your hands arrogantly and boast.

 

In the hadith it is said: “When the Prophet saw Abi Dujanah walking arrogantly between two lines of troops at Uhud. He said: surely this is an attitude of walking that Allah hates, except in this place.”

 

In another hadith: “When a man was walking, wearing a garment of which he was proud, parting his hair and being arrogant while walking, Allah suddenly drowned him. So he was immersed in the earth until the Day of Judgment.”

 

  1. Do not turn your head unnecessarily or move with inappropriate gestures, especially in imitation of men.

 

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) has cursed women who imitate men, and vice versa for men who imitate women.

 

You should not deliberately look at windows and doors or at the faces of passers-by or drivers, especially at men who are not your mahrams.

 

Paying attention to them is haraam, because it can instill desire in the heart and foster bad thoughts, then lead to the sin of adultery, which is a major sin. May Allah protect us from it.

 

Allah Ta’ala says: “Say to the believing women that they should restrain their gaze, and guard their private parts” (An-Nuur: 31).

 

You should not walk between two men. This is because it has been mentioned in the hadeeth that it is forbidden for a man to walk between two women. And vice versa, women should not touch a man who is not their mahram or look at him.

 

  1. If you see a group of girls arguing, it is part of your etiquette to reconcile them if you are able to, in accordance with the words of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted: “The believers are brothers, so reconcile between your two brothers” (Al-Hujuraat: 10).

 

And in accordance with the words of the Prophet SAW: “Shall I tell you of a deed that is more excellent than the degrees of fasting, prayer and charity?”.

 

The companions answered “yes.”

 

The Prophet said: “(it is) Reconciling those who are at odds. Because the damage to the relationship between your neighbors can be shaving. I did not say shave the hair, but shave (destroy) the religion.”

 

If you are unable to reconcile, then stay away from them and do not associate with them, let alone watch them.

 

Similarly, if you meet women who are joking or talking inappropriately and may annoy you with their words, then turn away and pay them no mind.

 

Allah says: “And when they hear unwholesome speech, they turn away from it” (Al-Qashash: 55).

 

Allah says: “And the good servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth humbly, and when the ignorant address them, they speak words of salvation” (Al-Furqan: 63).

 

A poet said: A foolish man speaks to me with bad words and I do not like to answer him. He adds to the foolishness and I add to the wisdom, like aloes, which when burned become more fragrant.

 

  1. You should greet the girls you meet even if you do not know them.

 

The hadith states: “A man asked the Messenger of Allah (SAW): which is the best practice in Islam?

 

The Prophet replied: you feed the Jains, you greet those you know and those you don’t and you meet them with a bright face.”

 

Another hadith states: “Do not underestimate kindness, even if it is just meeting your brother with a radiant face.”

 

When meeting, it is also recommended to shake hands.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “No two Muslims meet and shake hands, but their sins will be forgiven before they part.”

 

When you walk with a woman who is older than you, place her on your right and step back from her. Do not like someone walking behind you and hate someone walking in front of you, for that is the nature of those who are arrogant.

 

  1. You should walk on the right side so as to be safe from the dangers of vehicles.

 

You stay away from slippery places so as not to slip or where there are stones and debris so as not to trip or soil your clothes.

 

Do not walk on narrow, dirty streets, even if they are closer to your destination, for you may smell bad odors there or see ugly sights.

 

Or sometimes the streets are so crowded that it delays you from getting to your destination quickly. So don’t pass on crowded roads. If you must, then keep your books or money safe and avoid collisions.

 

  1. Do not walk with your hands on your waist, for this is the behavior of the proud, the behavior of the devil, and the behavior of the Jews in their prayers.

 

In the hadeeth: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) forbade people from praying while reclining.” He singled out prayer, because that action in prayer is worse than others.

 

You should not eat or sing while walking, or raise your voice, or whistle, or stop on the way to look at things that are unnecessary to you, or to disturb people walking. All these are “contrary to the manners of walking.

 

When you meet your friend, do not joke with him and do not stop him, except for a need.

 

If you meet a weak woman, then help her. When you meet a woman who is lost, guide her. If you meet a blind woman, then show her the way, or lead her to her destination.

 

In the hadith: “Whoever guides a blind person 40 steps, Paradise is obligatory for him.”

 

When you want to cross to the other side, do not be hasty and look first to the right and left so that you are safe from harm.

 

(9) You should not relieve yourself in the middle of the road, as is done by people who have no morals whatsoever and no regard for public health.

 

Many hadiths forbid doing so.

 

In the hadith: “Whoever interferes with a Muslim’s journey, he must receive a curse from them.”

 

It is very disruptive to people’s travel. Instead it is recommended that you remove distractions from the road.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “Faith consists of more than 70 branches.

 

The foremost is speech: Laa ilaha illallah, and the lowest is removing distractions from the path.”

 

The Prophet also said: “I saw a man enter Paradise just because he cut down a tree in the middle of the road because it disturbed the Muslims.”

 

  1. When you are about to enter a house, put your right foot first and recite the du’a mentioned in the hadeeth: “O Allah, I ask You for the best of entrances and the best of exits.

 

In the name of Allah we enter and in the name of Allah we leave, and to Allah our Lord we put our trust.”

 

In the hadith: “When you enter your family, greet them so that it will be a blessing on you and your household.”

 

If you do not find anyone in it, then say: “Assalaamu’alaina wa’alaa’ibaadillahiis shaalihiin.” Meaning: “May peace be upon us and the righteous servants of Allah.”

 

This is in accordance with the words of Allah, may He be exalted: “So when you enter any of these houses, greet its occupants with the greeting prescribed by Allah, which is blessed and good” (An-Nuur: 61).

 

2. MANNERS WHEN SITTING

 

A girl can tell whether she is a civilized or uncivilized child by her movements and silence.

 

So when you sit down, you should follow this advice:

 

  1. You should sit in a proper manner. Sit upright and quietly. Do not bend your head or body, do not stretch out your legs and do not snap your fingers, and do not play, hook or clip your nails in front of people.

 

When you sit on a chair, do not put one foot on top of the other and do not move it.

 

When you want to call someone, do not point to him with your finger or your head, but call him in a soft voice so as not to disturb those present.

 

You should not joke in an inappropriate manner or laugh without reason, nor should you joke and laugh a lot.

 

In the tafseer it is stated that when some of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) were joking around a lot, Allah, the Almighty, said: “The time has not yet come for those who believe to submit their hearts to the remembrance of Allah and to the truth that has been revealed to them, and let them not be like those to whom the Book was previously revealed, then a long period passed over them, and their hearts became hardened. And most of them were wrongdoers” (Al-Hadid: 16).

 

You should not speak loudly, backbite someone, cuss him out or spread his secrets.

 

The Prophet said: “The assemblies must be accompanied by a mandate.”

 

You should not speak falsely in order to provoke the people present to laugh.

 

The hadith states: “Woe to the one who tells a story by lying to make people laugh. Woe to him, woe to him.”

 

  1. You should pay attention to the atmosphere of the assembly.

 

If it’s a happy assembly, then join in the fun with the rest of the audience. And vice versa.

 

You should not laugh in the company of those who mourn, or grieve when people are in the company of those who are happy. This is not in accordance with feelings, nor is it appropriate.

 

You should make room for anyone who wants to sit, as Allah says: “O you who believe, when it is said to you, ‘Make room in your assemblies,’ make room, and Allah will make room for you” (Al-Mujaadilah: 11).

 

You should treat your seatmate well. You smile at him, listen to what he says and do not disturb him.

 

You respect everyone in the assembly, especially your mother and father and your teacher.

 

When someone older than you comes, stand up in his honor, give him precedence in the assembly and step back from him.

 

In the hadith it is mentioned that the Prophet SAW. ordered the Ansar r.a.: “Stand up to welcome your leader.” i.e. Sa’d bin Mu’adz r.a.

 

When an elderly man came to see the Prophet (pbuh), people were a little slow to make room for him.

 

So the Prophet said: “He who does not love children and disrespect the elderly is not among my people.”

 

When you enter a gathering, greet the women present and shake their hands. Start with those on the left side. When you leave, greet them as well.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “When one of you arrives at a gathering, greet it and when he gets up, he should also greet it. Is not the first greeting more appropriate than the last?”

 

  1. You should not order someone to get up from his place, for that is forbidden.

 

It is mentioned in the hadeeth: “None of you should order anyone to get up from his assembly and then sit down, but make room for him.”

 

If someone gets up from his place and you are sitting there, then he wants to return to it, do not prevent him, because he is more entitled to his first seat.

 

The hadith states: “If one of you gets up from a gathering and then returns to it, he has more right to it.”

 

Do not separate two women except with their permission. And when you enter an assembly reserved for those who are in that place, do not disturb them by pushing them, and if you find a spacious place, then sit there.

 

You should not sit in the center of the circle. In the hadith it is mentioned: “The one who sits in the center of the circle is cursed.”

 

That is because if he sits in the middle of it and turns his back to some of them, then he is disturbing them and they curse him.

 

  1. You should sit according to your ability while facing the qiblah. The hadith states: “The best of assemblies are those facing the qiblah.”

 

You should make every effort to attend good assemblies from which you will benefit in your religious and worldly affairs.

 

Avoid bad assemblies or useless assemblies in which the name of Allah is not mentioned.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “No people stand up from an assembly where people do not mention the name of Allah, but they stand up like leaving the carcass of a donkey and that assembly will cause regret for them on the Day of Judgment.”

 

You should stay away from gatherings where there is evil, such as gambling or alcoholic beverages.

 

The hadith states: “The Prophet (PBUH) forbade sitting at a banquet where people were drinking alcohol.”

 

If you do not find a pious female seatmate, then you should be alone, as the Prophet said: “Staying alone is better than sitting with bad company, and good company is better than being alone.”

 

You should not enter a secret assembly when you are not invited. So that the people present do not become angry with you, because you are perceived to be spying on them.

 

The hadith states: “Whoever listens to the speech of a people and they do not like it, on the Day of Resurrection molten lead will be poured into his ears.”

 

  1. You should sit in the place closest to you and do not insist on sitting in the center of the assembly. Because the Prophet himself did not have a special seat from his companions, because he sat wherever there was an empty seat.

 

This is also what the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did when they wanted to sit.

 

When you sit in the mosque, intend to do i’tikaaf so that you will be rewarded. Be polite in it and do not play or shout, or disturb someone who is praying.

 

Keep yourself busy by reading the Qur’an and dhikr or reciting the Prophet’s salawat.

 

Do not talk about worldly matters in the mosque, let alone things that are haraam.

 

The hadith states: “There will be, at the end of time, a people who discuss their affairs in the mosques, and Allah has no need of them.”

 

Another hadith states: “Speaking in the mosque depletes the reward of good deeds, just as animals eat grass.”

 

Do not step over the shoulders of those already seated in a row, unless you find an empty spot in the front row.

 

The hadith states: “Whoever steps on people’s shoulders on Friday has built a bridge to Jahannam.”

 

The scholars said: “The prohibition on stepping over people’s shoulders is general for all gatherings, because it disturbs the seated people and humiliates them.”

 

  1. Avoid bad habits when you sit.

 

So do not put your fingers into your ears, into your nose or into your mouth.

 

Do not remove food debris between your teeth and do not blow your nose with your hands, but clean them with a clean handkerchief while covering your nose without raising your voice.

 

When you cough, place your handkerchief over your mouth to prevent your saliva from spilling out.

 

If you yawn, then restrain it as much as you can by placing your left hand over your mouth or by closing your lips.

 

If you are unable, then cover your mouth with the back of your left palm and make no sound.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “When one of you yawns, let him put his hand over his mouth, because the shaitan enters when he yawns.”

 

In another hadith: “Verily, Allah loves sneezing and hates yawning. So when one of you yawns, let him restrain it as much as possible and not say: “Hah, hah,” because that is one of the actions of the devil who laughs at him.

 

The scholars said, “Because sneezing indicates lightness of body and activity, whereas yawning usually indicates a heavy body and a full stomach, thus causing laziness. So the Prophet (SAW) attributed it to the shaitan, because the shaitan likes it.”

 

  1. When you burp, put your hand or a handkerchief over your mouth so that your saliva does not spread and disturb people because of your burping.

 

Do not make a loud noise when burping.

 

The hadith states: “When one of you burps or sneezes, do not make a loud noise, because the shaitan likes to burp or sneeze loudly.”

 

When you sneeze, say Alhamdulillah. It was mentioned in the hadith: “When one of you sneezes, let him say: Alhamdulillah.

 

And let his brother or friend answer him: Yarhamukallah (may Allah have mercy on you).

 

If his friend says: Yarkamukallahu, then the one who sneezes the sunnah responds: Yahdiikumullahu wa yushlihu baalakum (may Allah guide you and mend your hearts).

 

If a child who has not yet reached puberty sneezes near you and says: Alhamdulillahi robbil ‘alamien, then answer: Baarokallahu fiika ya ghulaam (may Allah bless you, O little one).”

 

This is what is mentioned in the hadith.

 

  1. Do not sit on the streets. This is because the Prophet has forbidden us to do so. If you must, then give the street its due, which is as mentioned in the hadith: “Keeping the gaze (of the forbidden), preventing harassment, answering the greeting, enjoining good and forbidding evil.”

 

When you stand up from your seat, recite the prayer narrated from the Prophet (SAW): “Subhanakallahumma wa bihamdika, Ashhaduan laa ilaha illaa anta astaghfiruka wa atuubu ilaika” (Glory be to You O Allah, and all praise be to You. I testify that there is no God but You, I ask forgiveness and repent to You).

 

Whoever says it will have his sins in that assembly forgiven.

 

3. MANNERS WHEN SPEAKING

 

  1. O beloved daughter! When you wish to speak, you should first consider your words in your heart. If it is appropriate, then speak. If not, then be silent so that you may be saved from the evil of great verbal vices.

 

Allah Ta’ala says: “He does not utter a word but there is an angel ever present with him” (Qaaf: 18).

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “Verily, a person who speaks in a way that is not clear and plain, and causes him to slip into Hell, is farther away than the distance between the East and the West.”

 

It is also mentioned in the hadith: “The trial is caused by speech. If a man slanders another man by accusing him of suckling a dog, he himself will suckle it.”

 

In another hadith it is said: “Were not those who were plunged into Hell with their faces, a sacrifice for their tongues?”

 

The hadith also states: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak well or let him be silent.”

 

A poet said:

 

Weigh your words when you speak because they reveal the disgrace of the speaker.

 

Speak as needed so as not to talk too much. For the hadith states: “Whoever speaks too much will commit too many faults, and whoever commits too many faults will commit too many sins. And whoever has many sins, the fire of hell will be upon him.”

 

Do not speak of all that you hear. The hadith states: “It is enough for a man to sin if he tells everything he hears.”

 

  1. Speak according to the occasion. Do not speak of things that make one laugh in a sad atmosphere, and do not speak of things that make one sad in a happy atmosphere. Do not mention disgusting things at mealtimes and do not discuss a physical defect when the person with the defect is present in the assembly, lest he be embarrassed or offended.

 

Be careful when speaking so that you do not salivate or spit from your mouth.

 

Do not gesture often with your head or hands. If you are asked about something, then answer with words, not by moving your head or shoulders.

 

If someone asks you a question, do not be in a hurry to answer… Speak in a moderate voice so that it can be heard by the person being spoken to, because a very loud voice can disturb the listener and show the rudeness and stupidity of the speaker, while a low voice cannot be heard by the person being spoken to.

 

Do not be in a hurry when you speak, so that it will be clear and understandable and you will be saved from misspeaking.

 

The Prophet (SAW) spoke with a clear voice and was easily understood by everyone who heard him.

 

Do not monopolize the conversation for yourself, but give your seatmate time to talk.

 

  1. When one of the daughters speaks to you, then listen to what she says and turn your face to her.

 

Do not interrupt him, but wait until he has finished speaking. If you do not understand what he says, then do not say: “How?” “What did you say?” “I don’t understand what you are saying!” but use subtle expressions such as: “Please repeat what you said.”

 

If you speak to one of your daughters and she does not understand what you are saying, do not get angry.

 

Repeat your words a second and third time until he understands them. Because the Prophet SAW. when talking about a problem he repeated it three times until it was understood.

 

When you ask something of a girl, do not say to her: do this and give this, for that is harsh speech.

 

But say: please do this, or I ask you to provide that.

 

If a woman calls you, especially your Guru or your mother or your father, then answer immediately with the words: “Labbaik / yes.”

 

No one had better manners than the Messenger of Allah (SAW), and when one of his companions called him, he would answer: “Labbaik / yes!”.

 

Don’t say: what do you want, or what do you want? Because these are harsh words.

 

  1. If someone older than you is present in the assembly, do not precede him in speaking.

 

The Prophet had said to Abdurrahman bin Sahl r.a. “Be quiet, you are still immature.” When he was about to speak on a matter, while he was the youngest in the audience.

 

When you speak to her, use words of honor and respect, such as: You or Sister.

 

Know that respect for the elderly has been promised as a reward of long life for the young.

 

As in the hadith: “No youngster honors an old man because of his age, but Allah destines for him one who will honor him when he reaches that age.”

 

When a girl tells you a story or informs you of news, do not destroy her feelings by saying, “I have heard this story or this news.” Rather be silent, as if you had not known it before. Rather be silent, as if you had not known it before.

 

  1. Likewise, if he makes a mistake in telling or delivering the news, then do not laugh at him.

 

Don’t reprimand him as harshly as you reprimanded him: “What you are saying is not right.” Rather, point out his mistake in a subtle way, saying, “Perhaps it is like this, I think it is like this.” If he does not accept your rebuke, then leave him in his situation.

 

Do not quarrel with him, even if you are in the right.

 

The hadith says: “Whoever leaves an argument and is on the right side will have a house built for him in the highest heaven.”

 

In another hadith it is stated: “Do not argue with your brother and do not joke with him. Do not promise him something and then break it.”

 

If you err and are reminded by a daughter, then accept her warning with joy and pleasure. Thank her for her advice. Do not be unwilling to accept the truth, for that is arrogance. The hadith states: “Pride is not accepting the truth.”

 

  1. Part of good manners in speaking is that you avoid profanity, swearing and cursing.

 

In the hadith: “It is not a believer to cuss, to curse, or to speak vile and filthy words.”

 

You should avoid gossiping, lying and backbiting.

 

Allah Ta’ala says: “And let not some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Then surely you would be disgusted with him” (Al-Hujuraat: 12).

 

The hadith states: “How great a betrayal is it when you tell your brother something and he believes you and you deny him.”

 

In another hadith: “The one who likes to commit namimah will not enter Paradise.”

 

Do not swear by the name of Allah, even if you are telling the truth. This is because Allah says: “And make not the name of Allah a target for your oaths” (Al-Baqarah: 224).

 

Do not speak with ignorance. Whenever you are asked about something you do not know, do not be ashamed to say: Allahu A’lam (Allah knows better), or I do not know.

 

This answer will not lower your status, rather it will raise your standing with Allah and the people, because it shows the strength of your religion and the purity of your heart.

 

That way you get the reward of knowledge. That is why Ash-Shafi’bi (may Allah have mercy on him) said, “Not knowing is half of knowledge.”

 

  1. Also be careful in speaking not to broadcast secrets, and not to joke unreasonably, as this may lead to resentment.

 

Do not laugh a lot or laugh loudly and do not have a frowning face.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “Verily Allah Ta’ala hates the one who frowns in the presence of his brothers.”

 

Do not be arrogant, conceited and boastful.

 

Allah says: “So do not call yourselves pure. It is He who knows best those who fear” (An-Najm: 32).

 

Do not mock someone by imitating his words and deeds, insinuating his disgrace or calling him names.

 

Allah says: “O you who believe, let not one people make fun of another people (for) it may be that they (the made fun of) are better than they (the made fun of), nor let women make fun of other women (for) it may be that the women (made fun of) are better than the women (made fun of), and let you not revile yourselves and call each other by bad names” (Al-Hujuraat: 11).

 

If a foolish woman annoys you with her words then do not respond to her. As the poet said:

 

When a fool speaks, do not answer him; it is better for you to be silent than to answer him.

I silence a fool, and he thinks I am unable to answer, whereas I am able to.

 

4. MANNERS OF EATING ALONE

 

  1. O my beloved daughter, know that a rational person eats to live, because eating is something that is obligatory for the health of his body. If he does not eat, he will surely die.

 

The opposite is the fool. He lives to eat so his only desire is to fill his stomach like an animal.

 

So you should not overeat in order to obey the words of Allah: “Eat and drink and do not overdo it, indeed He does not like those who overdo it” (Al-A’raaf: 31).

 

You should practice the manners of eating, namely:

 

  1. You should intend to be strong in obedience and worship, so that you will be rewarded for that intention.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “Verily, all deeds depend on the intention, and each person will be rewarded according to what he intended.”

 

Do not eat just for the sake of pleasure and delicacy, so that you eat at all times, and put food on top of other food.

 

In the hadith it is said: “It is an act of transgression if you eat whatever you like.”

 

But eat at certain times when you want to eat. Eat what is available and do not ask for what is not available.

 

Do not eat until you are full, but stop even if you still like it, because being too full is detrimental to health and leads to ignorance.

 

The Prophet (SAW) has forbidden it with his saying: “The son of Adam (man) has not filled a vessel worse than his stomach. It is enough for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls that are able to straighten his sulb (backbone). If he has to fill his stomach then he should fill one-third for his food, one-third for his drink and one-third for his breath.”

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “The worst of my Ummah are those who eat delicious food, so that their bodies grow from it, while their only desire is a variety of food and clothing and they talk incoherently.”

 

The Prophet also said: “Do not overeat, for overeating corrupts religion, causes sickness and leads to laziness in worship.”

 

  1. You should maintain cleanliness by washing your hands before and after eating.

 

In the hadith it is said: “Wudhu (washing the palms of the hands) before eating is a repellent against poverty, and afterward it can prevent insanity and the like.”

 

You should eat with your right hand.

 

In the hadith: “Let one of you eat with his right hand and drink with his right hand, take with his right hand and give with his right hand.

 

Verily, the devil eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand, and gives with his left hand and takes with his left hand.”

 

You should first say: Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahiim (In the Name of Allah, the Most Compassionate and Merciful).

 

In the hadith: “When any of you eat, let him mention the name of Allah.

 

If he forgets the beginning, he should say: Bismillah awwalahu wa aakhirahu (In the name of Allah at the beginning and the end).”

 

Do not dirty your hands and clothes with food. Do not spill gravy or put bones on the soup. Do not drink much during meals, as this may hinder the digestion of food.

 

Do not blow on food and drink.

 

The hadith states: “Blowing into food takes away the blessing.”

 

There is also a prohibition on blowing in drinks.

 

You should not drink from the mouth of a jug, for it may stink and it may contain feces or animals that you do not see.

 

It is narrated that a man drank from the mouth of a jug, and a worm crawled into his stomach. Do not breathe or burp with the glass still in your mouth or drink from the cracked part of the glass.

 

It has been mentioned in the hadith about the prohibition that it is the seat of the devil.

 

  1. You should not eat or drink while standing. This is also not allowed.

 

In the hadith it is said: “You should not eat while walking.”

 

Doctors have also forbidden it, as the colon (the digestive site) is not ready to receive food in a walking state.

 

Yes, they doctors tell us to move around after the food has settled in the stomach.

 

As in the Arabic proverb: “Eat during the day and rest, and eat at night and walk.”

 

So walk before going to bed, even if it’s a hundred steps, because walking is one of the biggest causes of digestion and the night time is usually quiet. So we should move at that time.

 

On the other hand, daytime is a time of movement and is sufficient for digestion.

 

You should not skip lunch or dinner. This is because the hadith states: “Leaving lunch may cause sickness, while leaving dinner may cause old age.”

 

In another hadith: “Eat at night even if it is only a handful of dates.”

 

You should eat breakfast before going out of your house. A wise man said to his son, “O my son, do not go out of the house until you have eaten first, for then your mind will be preserved and all ignorance will disappear.”

 

  1. Among the adab is that you should not drink or speak while food is still in your mouth. Do not wipe your lips with your tongue after eating and drinking, but wipe them with a napkin.

 

Do not drink water in one gulp without breathing, but take one gulp, and then breathe out of the glass.

 

The hadith states: “Sip water firmly and do not gulp it down all at once (without breathing), for the sickness of the heart is caused by gulping it down all at once.”

 

When the Prophet drank water from a glass, he breathed three times. In each breath he said Alhamdulillah (praising Allah Ta’ala) and gave thanks upon completion.

 

You should not eat while lying on your stomach. This is because the hadeeth has mentioned the prohibition of doing so. Also, do not eat while lying on your back or leaning on your pillow, for this is arrogant and overeating, and is the habit of arrogant rulers.

 

Do not eat while leaning on one side of your body, for this is detrimental to health, and it prevents the smooth passage of food into the large intestine, making it weak.

 

The hadith says that sometimes the Messenger of Allah (SAW) would kneel down to eat and sometimes he would sit on the backs of his legs. Sometimes he would put his right foot up and sit on his left foot.”

 

The Prophet (SAW) said, “I never eat while reclining, for I am an ordinary servant. I eat as I eat and sit as I sit.”

 

Do not eat hot food, but wait for it to cool down a little so that you can easily take it.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “Do not eat hot food, for it takes away the blessing.”

 

You should keep your mouths small and chew your food well, as this aids digestion.

 

Do not take other food before swallowing what is in your mouth, as it shows gluttony for food.

 

  1. When you finish eating, wash your hands and lips well with soap, then dry them with a clean cloth (napkin) from one side. Then remove any food debris between your teeth with a toothpick.

 

In the hadeeth: “May Allah have mercy on those of my Ummah who clean the food residue between their teeth when they do wudoo’ and after they eat.”

 

After cleaning your teeth, you should rinse your mouth. This is because there may be blood in the mouth that can stain the mouth. There is a report on this from ahl al-bayt (the family of the Prophet), as mentioned by al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) in his book al-lhya’.

 

Thank Allah Ta’ala in your heart for the food He has given you. And realize that food is a pleasure given by Him. Allah says: “So eat that which is lawful and good from the sustenance which Allah has given you, and thank Allah for His favors, if to Him alone you truly worship” (An-Nahl: 114).

 

The hadith states: “Verily, Allah is pleased with the slave who eats and praises Him for it, and drinks and praises Him for it.”

 

Express your gratitude with your tongue as you say, “Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah) who has given me this food, and given it as sustenance to me without any power or strength from me.”

 

The hadith states: “Whoever says that, all his previous sins will be forgiven.”

 

Also recite the du’aa, “Praise be to Allah, a praise that is much and good, and blessings that are unlimited and unceasing, and always needed, O our Lord.

 

O Allah bless us with it and give us better food than it.”

 

Except after drinking milk, then say, “O Allah, bless us with it and increase us from it.” For there is nothing more sufficient for food and drink than milk.

 

Say after drinking water: “Praise be to Allah who made it fresh and refreshing by His grace, and did not make it so salty that it became bitter because of our sins.”

 

As for after eating, then recite: “Aul huwallahu Ahad” (Surah Al-Ikhlash) and “Li iilaafi Qurayshin” (Surah Quraysh).

 

 

 

 

5. ETIQUETTE OF EATING WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE

 

  1. It is Sunnah for you not to be alone at meal times. So you should eat with your family or your guests.

 

The hadith states: “The Messenger of Allah did not eat alone.” It is also mentioned in another narration: “Gather to eat what you have, and it will be blessed for you.”

 

“The best food is that which is eaten by many people.”

 

When you eat with others, use the following manners in addition to the previous ones.

 

Do not hasten to sit down or start eating before a woman who is older than you or in a higher position than you. Unless you are someone to be followed and emulated, because you are the host. Then you should start the meal so that those present do not have to wait long.

 

Do not sit so long at a meal that you are the last to leave and appear greedy and covetous, unless you are the host, in which case it is recommended that you do so.

 

The hadith states: “When the Prophet ate with people, he was the last to eat.”

 

Do not be in a hurry to get up or stop eating, even if you are still in front of the dish, so that the people next to you are not embarrassed and immediately stop eating after you.

 

In the hadeeth: “When the food is served, let no one get up, even if he is full, until the people have finished eating, because that may embarrass his seatmate, while he may still like the food.”

 

  1. In the assembly you should choose a place that is suitable for you, and sit politely, and do not play with cutlery, do not turn your head frequently or move, and do not push the person next to you.

 

It is also good manners to offer the greeting of peace and ask about the situation of the person sitting near you in the gathering.

 

It is meant to bring joy to him and relieve his loneliness and boredom.

 

It is also good manners not to sit facing the door of the men’s room. Also, do not deliberately look at the food and the faces of those who are eating.

 

Do not stretch out your hand towards the food that is far away from you, but take the food that is nearest to you. Except for fruits, there is nothing wrong with taking whatever you like.

 

In the hadith: “After eating the Prophet (SAW) passed around fruits to his companions. So he was asked about it. He replied: Is it not one kind of fruit?” Eat the fruits one piece at a time and do not eat two pieces at once. It has been mentioned in a hadeeth that it is forbidden to do so, except with the permission of your companion.

 

Do not pull food from your friend’s face towards yourself and do not eat it for yourself without offering it to your friend.

 

If you eat a banana, for example, do not put the peel in front of others, so as to create the impression that you have eaten nothing. This is lying.

 

And don’t throw the skins on the streets so as not to cause others to slip.

 

And try not to make any noise when chewing hi, especially when you are enjoying something, as this shows greed.

 

  1. If you cannot hold back your saliva or snot, then stay away from the assembly.

 

Do not make loud noises when spitting or blowing your nose. Likewise, when you speak, speak with words that are appropriate to the situation.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith that the Prophet asked his family for gravy. They replied, “We only have vinegar.”

 

So he ordered him to take it and eat it, saying, “The best soup is vinegar, the best soup is vinegar.”

 

You should not mention anything disgusting or tell sad stories during the meal, as this is not in accordance with etiquette.

 

Do not eat from the top of the plate or from the center of the food. In the hadith it is said: “Eat from around

 

the edge of the plate and don’t eat from the center, because the blessing descends in the center.”

 

  1. Another etiquette is not to touch food with your hand, but to take it with a spoon, unless you are eating together in one pot. There is nothing wrong with that, but eat what is in front of you. Do not shake your hand in the bowl and do not put your head forward when you take a bite into your mouth. When you take something out of your mouth, turn your face away from the food and take it with your left hand.

 

If you break a piece of bread with your teeth, do not dip the rest of it into the soup. Likewise, if you take something from it and place it on your plate or in your mouth, do not put it back where you found it so that others will not be disgusted with it.

 

  1. Do not burp in front of someone, but turn your face away from him. Burp softly.

 

Do not smell food with your nose. The Prophet (SAW) has forbidden this in his words: “Do not smell food as wild animals do.”

 

If someone offers you food and you do not like it, do not show your dislike for it, let alone reproach him or say: I do not like it. Rather, justify your dislike to him in a kindly manner, such as saying: I hope you will forgive me, or thank you very much, or something like that.

 

It has been stated that the Prophet (SAW) never criticized food.

 

The hadith states: “People served roasted monitor lizards to the Messenger of Allah. He extended his hand towards the food. They said: “O Messenger of Allah, this is monitor lizard meat.” So he then raised his hand again. “

 

Khalid bin Walid r.a. said, “O Messenger of Allah, is the monitor lizard haram? “The Prophet replied, “no,” but it is not found in the land of my people, so I do not like it.”

 

  1. When you wash your hands, do not shake them off so that the water does not splash on those present.

 

When you eat at someone’s place, pray for him after the meal and say: “O Allah, increase his goodness, bless him with the sustenance You have given him, make it easy for him to do good with it and satisfy him with the sustenance You have given him and make us and him grateful.”

 

In the hadith: “The Prophet broke his fast in the house of Sa’d bin Ubadah r.a. Then the Prophet prayed and said: “The fasting people break their fast in your place, and the righteous eat your food while the angels pray for all of you.”

 

The Prophet ate at the house of Abdullah bin Busr r.a. and then said:

 

“O Allah, bless them with the sustenance You give them and forgive their sins and have mercy on them.”

 

If you attend a banquet, then do not take any of the food back to your house, which is a mistake, unless the owner of the house gives permission or you know that he is pleased with it, then there is nothing wrong with that.

 

At that time take whichever you want or your friends agree with.

 

Do not attend a walimah (banquet) if you are not invited, so that you become an uninvited guest.

 

The hadith states: “Whoever walks to attend a meal to which he has not been invited, then he walks as an evildoer and eats haraam food.”

 

6. MANNERS OF VISITING AND ASKING PERMISSION

 

  1. O daughter, you should pay attention to your visits to your relatives, because that means practicing friendship. Also, pay attention to visiting your female friends so that you can maintain a loving relationship with them.

 

In the hadith: “Whoever visits a sick person or visits his brother for the sake of Allah, then two angels call out to him: Blessed are you and safe is your journey and you will have a house in Paradise.”

 

  1. You should observe the following manners in visiting, namely:

 

You should ask permission before entering, by standing in front of the outer door of the house, so as not to see the person inside.

 

In the hadeeth it is said: “Indeed, asking permission is required, in order to protect the gaze.”

 

It is mustahabb for you to greet each other, then ask permission by saying, “Assalamu’alaikum, may I come in?”

 

When the door is open, then face the right or left side. It is mentioned in the hadith: “When the Messenger of Allah (SAW) came to the door of someone’s house, he did not face the door from the front, but from the right or left side.

 

Then he said: Assalamu’alaikum, Assalamu’alaikum.”

 

This was because houses at that time did not use curtains.

 

  1. If the door is closed, knock softly. If there is a bell, ring it without startling and without being loud. Allah has taught us the manners of asking permission, in the words of Allah: “O you who believe, do not enter a house that is not your own until you have asked permission and greeted the occupants. That is better for you, so that you may remember. If you find no one in it, then do not enter until you have obtained permission” (An-Nuur: 27, 28).

 

  1. It is possible to ask for permission up to three times. The hadith states: “If one of you asks for permission three times and is not granted permission, then he should go home.”

 

If it is said to you: who are you? or who is at the door? then answer by emphasizing your name. Do not answer: me, or your friend, and the like. Unless the owner of the house knows your voice, then there is nothing wrong with that.

 

In the Mi’raj hadith it is mentioned: When Jibril asked to open the door of heaven, it was said to him, “Who is this?”

 

Gabriel replied, “Gabriel.”

 

Companion Jabir r.a. said: Once I went to the Prophet and knocked on the door.

 

The Prophet said, “Who is this?”

 

I replied, “I am.”

 

So the Prophet said, “Me, me.” It seems that he did not like that answer.

 

Once a man knocked on the door of a scholar. The scholar said, “Who?”

 

The man replied, “I am.”

 

So the pious man said, “I don’t know any of our brothers whose name is me.”

 

If you are told that the owner of the house is absent, do not get angry and think that he does not like to see you.

 

Allah says: “And when it is said to you, ‘Return,’ then return. That is cleaner for you, and Allah knows best what you do” (An-Nuur: 28).

 

Every family living in the same house may have a special room. So it is obligatory to ask permission to enter it.

 

One should not open another person’s room without the permission of the owner, even if it is the closest person to him, such as his father and mother.

 

The hadith states: “A man asked the Prophet: “Do I have to ask permission to enter my mother’s room?”

 

The Prophet replied, “Yes”.

 

He said, “I live with him in one house.”

 

The Prophet said, “Ask permission to enter to him.”

 

The man said, “I served him.”

 

The Prophet replied, “Ask her permission. Do you like to see your mother naked?”

 

The man replied, “No.”

 

The Prophet said, “Then ask him for permission.”

 

  1. Part of the etiquette of visiting is that you visit at a suitable time, not when you are eating or sleeping or working, so that the woman you are visiting does not find it hard and does not resent your visit.

 

Make visits that are not too frequent. Don’t visit every day or on close days so that she doesn’t get tired of you coming.

 

Part of the etiquette is not to visit her too infrequently so as not to cause loneliness and disconnection.

 

In the hadith: “Visit sometimes so that it may increase love.”

 

Do not visit for too long, especially if the person being visited is busy or preparing to go out or is about to eat, unless it is at their request, in which case there is nothing wrong with it.

 

  1. You should dress cleanly, look nice and sit in a proper place. Do not go ahead of someone who is older in age or position.

 

Do not play with the books and letters in the living room, tools, flowers or anything else. Do not take anything without the host’s permission.

 

If you find a letter, don’t read it out of curiosity.

 

In the hadith it is said: “Whoever reads his brother’s letter without his permission is lurking in hell.”

 

Do not spit on the floor or rug, but do so at the spittoon or wherever is appropriate.

 

You should share in the joys and sorrows of the person you are visiting.

 

And ask her permission if you want to go home. If he gives you permission, but another guest arrives, then stay for a while and do not leave immediately, so that the other guest does not think that you are leaving because of him, and that you do not like meeting him. Unless you are in a hurry, then tell him why you are leaving and give him a reason.

 

  1. When a woman visits you, greet her with a bright and passionate face and say, “Ahlan wa Sahlan wa Marhaban / Welcome.”

 

Shake his hand when you are pleased with his visit. Then seat him in a place appropriate to him and ask him about his health and the health of his family. Then speak to him with a gentle and polite voice and a radiant face.

 

Stand up to serve your own guests. Allah Ta’ala has praised Sayyidina Ibrahim a.s. with His words: “Has it reached you (Muhammad) the story of Ibrahim’s guests (the angels) who were glorified?” (Adh-Dzaariyaat: 24).

 

They were honored because Ibrahim served himself and sent his wife as a servant to bring out the food.

 

Allah Ta’ala says: “So it was not long before Ibrahim offered the roasted calf meat” (Huud: 69).

 

“So he went secretly to his family, and brought them the meat of a fat calf (which was burnt)” (Adh-Dzaariyaat: 26).

 

In the hadith: “One day the envoys of King Najashi (King of Habashah in Ethiopia) came to the Prophet Muhammad. Then the Prophet stood up to serve them. So his companions said, “O Messenger of Allah, we will provide for you. The Prophet replied, “No.”

 

They used to honor my friends so I want to return the favor.”

 

Imam Ash-Shafi’i came to Imam Malik (may Allah have mercy on him) and he served him food. And he himself poured water with both hands and said, “Do not be surprised at what you see. Serving a guest is obligatory.”

 

  1. Serve your guest the food and drink that suits him with what you can afford, without overdoing it, so that you do not feel burdened by his visit.

 

You don’t say, “Shall I serve you food?” Rather, serve the food first. If he likes it, let him eat it. If not, then take the food away.

 

Companion Salman Al-Farisi r.a. said, “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) told us not to force ourselves to provide food that is not available to our guests, and told us to serve food that is available to us.”

 

Do not be restrictive in honoring your guests.

 

The hadith states: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) once stopped by a man who had many camels and cows, but he did not entertain him as a guest. Then he stopped by a woman who had several goats. The woman slaughtered a goat for him.

 

The Prophet said: look at these two people. Verily this character is in the hands of Allah. Whoever Allah wills to be given good manners, he will do so.”

 

In another hadith: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest.”

 

In another narration: “I and the pious of my Ummah are free from self-assertion.” A Poet said:

 

A cheerful human face is better than a dish

So what about the person who serves food while laughing

 

  1. It is mustahabb for you to encourage your guests to eat. In a long hadith narrated from Abi Hurairah r.a. it is mentioned that the Prophet SAW. ordered to call the Shuffah (poor Faqir who lived in the Prophet’s mosque). When they came, the Prophet made them full with a glass of milk that he served.

 

Abu Hurairah r.a. narrated the hadith to the extent that he said: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to me, “There remains only me and you.”

 

I said, “You are right, O Messenger of Allah.”

 

The Prophet said, “Sit down and drink.” I sat down and drank. The Prophet said again, “Drink.” So I continued to drink and he kept saying to me, “Drink,” until I said, “Not by the Lord who sent you with the truth. I do not find a way to enter it.”

 

Then the Prophet said, “Give it to me.” Then I gave him a glass. So he praised Allah and mentioned His name and then drank the rest.

 

  1. When someone comes to visit you, do not hide from him and have your maidservant tell the guest that you are not at home or that you are sleeping. This is not good manners. It is forbidden because it is a lie. You should meet your guest. If you find it hard, then endure the hardship.

 

If your guest asks permission to leave, do not rush to give him permission, but keep him longer, unless he urges you to ask permission. Then allow him to leave and escort him to the door of the house or to the street, showing regret for his haste and thanking him for his visit and wishing him to visit often.

 

In the hadeeth it is said: “It is a Sunnah when a person goes out to escort his guest to the door of his house.”

 

7. ADAB VISITING THE SICK

 

  1. It is advisable for you to visit a sick woman, especially if she is your relative, teacher or friend.

 

If you hear that one of them is sick, you should immediately visit him to find out how he is and comfort him, praying for his speedy recovery.

 

The hadith states: “The obligations of a Muslim over another Muslim are five: answering the greeting, visiting the sick, delivering the dead, honoring the invitation and praying for the one who sneezes.”

 

In another hadith: “No Muslim visits another Muslim in the morning but 70,000 angels pray for him until the evening, and if he visits him in the evening, 70,000 angels pray for him until the morning, and in Paradise he will have fruit ready for picking.”

 

Before visiting a sick person, you should first ask whether he is able to receive visitors or not, so as not to burden him. If he is able to meet you, then visit him immediately. But if he is unable to do so, or if his illness is contagious, then it is sufficient to greet him and wish him a speedy recovery. Always ask one of his family members about his health.

 

  1. Part of the etiquette of visiting is that you only sit in the presence of the sick person for a short time, so that he does not feel distressed or upset by seeing you, unless he is happy to see you, in which case there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he said: “Among the Sunnahs of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was to sit quickly and not make loud noises when visiting the sick.”

 

In the hadeeth: “The time to visit a sick person is the time between two camel milkings.”

 

A Sufi scholar named Sariyyu As-Saqathiy (may Allah have mercy on him) said, “I was sick in the city of Thursus. Then a group of people came to visit me, they sat for so long that they bored me. Then they asked me for prayers. So I raised my hand and said: “O Allah, teach us how to visit the sick.”

 

It is also good manners not to ask about his situation in short words if he does not mind answering.

 

If it is difficult, it is enough to ask who is taking care of him and ask your questions in a moderate voice, because a very low voice can cause fear in his heart, while a loud voice might make him more agitated and aggravate his illness.

 

Place your hand on his forehead or hand. In the hadith: “The perfection of visiting a sick person is when one of you places his hand on his forehead, or on his hand and asks him, how is it?”

 

In one narration: “How are you in the morning?”, or “How are you in the evening?” f

 

The sick person replied, “I am well, Alhamdulillah.”

 

If you see a change in his color or weakness in his body, then do not show your anxiety over it, so that he will not be frightened or startled, which may increase his pain.

 

From the Companion of Ibn Abbas r.a., he said, “Part of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (SAW) is to sit quickly and not make loud noises when visiting the sick.”

 

In the hadeeth: “The time to visit a sick person is the time between two camel milkings.”

 

A Sufi scholar named Sariyyu As-Saqathiy (may Allah have mercy on him) said, “I was sick in the city of Thursus. Then a group of people came to visit me, they sat for so long that they bored me. Then they asked me for prayers. So I raised my hand and said: “O Allah, teach us how to visit the sick.”

 

It is also good manners not to ask about his situation in short words if he does not mind answering.

 

If it is difficult, it is enough to ask who is taking care of him and ask your questions in a moderate voice, because a very low voice can cause fear in his heart, while a loud voice might make him more agitated and aggravate his illness.

 

Place your hand on his forehead or hand. In the hadith: “The perfection of visiting a sick person is when one of you places his hand on his forehead, or on his hand and asks him, how is it?”

 

In one narration: “How are you in the morning?”, or “How are you in the evening?”

 

The sick person replied, “I am well, Alhamdulillah.”

 

If you see a change in his color or weakness in his body, then do not show your anxiety over it, so that he will not be frightened or startled, which may increase his pain.

 

Rather encourage him and pray for him 4. It is mustahabb for you to whet his appetite.

 

In the hadith it is mentioned that the Prophet SAW. visited an Anshar man. Then the Prophet said, “What food do you like?” The man replied, “I like wheat bread.” Then a man stood up, left and came with a piece of bread. So the Prophet gave him that food. Then the Prophet said, “If a sick person among you likes something, he should give it to him.” It is also recommended to pray for him with the supplication narrated from the Prophet (SAW), namely: “I ask Allah, the Great. The Lord of the Great Throne, to cure you.”

 

In another hadith it is stated: “Whoever visits a sick person who has not yet died, and says the prayer in front of him seven times, Allah will cure him of his illness.”

 

It is also mustahabb for you to ask him for prayers. It says in the hadeeth: “Visit the sick and ask them to pray for you, for the prayers of the sick are mustajab and their sins are forgiven.”

 

 

 

8. MANNERS OF THE SICK

 

  1. One of the manners of the sick is to be patient with his sickness. He should not grumble or complain; rather, he should be content with the sickness that Allah has ordained for him, so that he will be rewarded for it.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “No believer suffers hardship or sickness, distress and grief, disturbance and anxiety, even a thorn in his foot, but Allah expiates his sins with them.”

 

He should pray to Allah for a speedy recovery. As in the hadith: “A man complained to the Prophet SAW. for the pain experienced by his body. So the Prophet SAW. said to him put your hand on the part of your body that hurts and say: Bismillah (three times). And say (seven times): I seek refuge with the Might and Power of Allah from the evil of what I feel and fear.”

 

  1. He should use medicine that is beneficial to his health. According to the hadith: “Seek treatment, all of you, for Allah does not send down a disease but He sends down a cure for it.”

 

He should believe that healing comes from Allah, not from medicine.

 

As Allah Ta’ala said when narrating about His Prophet Ibrahim a.s.: “And when I was sick, it was He (Allah) who healed me” (Ash-Shu’ara:80).

 

He should not abandon prayer during his illness or delay it for a later time.

 

He should pray according to his ability. The Prophet said to sayyidina Imran bin Hushain r.a. who was suffering from bawasir (anal disease): “Pray while standing. If you are unable, then sit. If you are unable then pray on your side. If you are unable to do so, then pray lying down. Allah does not force anyone, but according to his ability.”

 

It is permissible for a sick woman to combine Zhuhr and ‘Asr prayers, either taqdim or ta’khir.

 

The same applies between Maghrib and ‘Isha’, if he feels that sickness in the Takbīr of Ihram at both times and in the greetings of the first and the second.

 

If he is unable to do wudoo’, then he should ask someone else to help him do wudoo’.

 

If there is no one to help him, he may do tayammum. He should be very careful about impurity, because it is a serious matter. He should not take it lightly, as some sick people do.

 

He should not fast Ramadan if he is able to, or if he is unable to, he may make it up as soon as he recovers.

 

  1. When he recovers, he should thank Allah for his recovery and ask Him to grant him a long life in obedience to Him with protection and peace.

 

The hadith states: “Ask Allah for forgiveness and health, for no one is given anything after belief that is better than good health.”

 

In another hadith it is stated: “The best of you are those who live the longest and do the best deeds.”

 

He should remember the kindness of those who served him and visited him when he was sick.

 

He should thank them and visit their homes as much as he can.

 

The hadith states: “Whoever is not grateful to people is not grateful to Allah.”

 

He should fulfill what he promised to Allah when he was a single person, which is repentance and doing righteous deeds.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith that the Prophet visited Khawwaat bin Jubair r.a. during his illness and said to him, “O Khawwaat, are you well?

 

I replied, And your body, O Messenger of Allah.”

 

The Prophet (SAW) said, “Exactly what you have promised to Allah.”

 

I said, “I have promised nothing to Allah the Almighty.” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Yes, indeed, no servant is sick unless he has promised a good deed to Allah. So fulfill what you promised to Allah.”

 

9. MANNERS OF VISITING TAKZIYAH

 

When you hear news of someone’s death, it is mustahabb for you to say: “Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilaihi Roji’uun, wa innaa ilaa Robbina Iamunqalibuun. Verily we belong to Allah and to Him we return, and verily to our Lord we shall return.

 

O Allah, write him down in Your sight among those who did good and convey the record book of his deeds to the ‘Illiyyin. And compensate him for his family among the living. Do not forbid us his reward and do not cause us fitnah after he is gone.”

 

Then go to his family in order to alleviate their grief and comfort them for the calamity that has befallen them, and you mention to them the many rewards of patience.

 

You forbid them to regret, by pointing out the consequences of regret that can take away rewards and cause sins.

 

You say, may Allah give you a great reward and give you better entertainment and forgive the sin of the one who left you. To Allah belongs what He has taken and to Him belongs what He has given, while everything with Him has a time.

 

Such is life and such is the end of every living being. “Every living thing must taste death” (Ali Imran: 185).

 

The hadeeth states: “No believer makes tithing for his brother who is afflicted with a calamity, but Allah, the Almighty, will clothe him with garments of honor on the Day of Resurrection.”

 

  1. You should join the family of the deceased in their grief. So do not show joy in their presence by wearing fancy clothes or laughing or smiling or even joking with others.

 

Do not talk much or speak about the circumstances of the deceased until his family and relatives have begun. At that time praise all his virtues and mention his good deeds. Do not mention his bad deeds. The Prophet (SAW) has said: “Mention the virtues of the dead among you and do not mention their vices.”

 

It is recommended that you make takziyah before and after the burial, and it is makrooh after three days, because it renews grief.

 

Unless the person making the takziyah or the one receiving the takziyah is not at home, then the period of takziyah lasts until he comes.

 

You should help the family of the deceased as much as you can. Try to attend the funeral prayer as much as you can, because it is an obligation that some Muslims have over other Muslims, both men and women, and it has great virtue.

 

In the hadeeth: “Whoever attends a funeral until he is able to pray for it has gained the reward of one qirath.

 

Whoever attends until he is buried has gained two qiraths.” Someone said, “What are two qiraths?”

 

The Prophet replied, “Like two large mountains.” As for transporting the dead, this is done exclusively by men and is makrooh or forbidden for women, if it causes harm.

 

 

10. MANNERS OF PEOPLE WHO EXPERIENCE CALAMITY

 

  1. If a woman experiences the death of one of her relatives or friends, then she should be patient and steadfast.

 

He should say: “Innaa lillahi wa innaa . Ilaihi roji’uun. Verily we belong to Allah and to Him we return. O Allah, reward me for my calamity and give me something better than it.”

 

Umm Salamah r.a. said, “When Abu Salamah passed away, I said as the Messenger of Allah (SAW) commanded me.

 

So Allah replaced him with someone better than him, namely the Prophet Muhammad.”

 

In another hadith it is stated: “When the son of Allah’s servant dies, Allah says to His angels: “Did you take the life of My servant’s son?”

 

They replied, “Yes.”

 

Allah said, “Did you pluck out the fruit of his heart?”

 

They replied, “Yes.”

 

Allah said, “What does My servant say?”

 

They replied, He praised You and said: “Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilaihi roji’uun.”

 

So Allah says, “Build for My servant a house in Paradise and call it Baitul Hamdi (House of Praise).”

 

  1. Avoid mourning the deceased by mentioning his good deeds with weeping and loud voices, because this shows that there is no pleasure in Allah’s decree and fate, and it is haraam.

 

It is also forbidden to slap the cheeks, scratch the face, tear clothes and hit the chest.

 

The hadith states: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) disassociated himself from the woman who wails loudly and who shaves her hair and tears her clothes when calamity strikes.”

 

As for crying without wailing and without being loud, it is not forbidden.

 

The hadith states: “When the Prophet was informed that the son of his daughter Zainab r.a. had died, the tears of the Prophet were wet.

 

Then Sa’d bin “Ubadah r.a. said to him, “O Messenger of Allah what is this?”

 

The Prophet (SAW) replied, “This is the mercy that Allah puts in the hearts of His servants. Verily, Allah loves His merciful servants.”

 

 

11. MANNERS OF VISITING TO CONGRATULATE

 

  1. If your friend passes an exam, or comes back from traveling, or recovers from an illness, or is happy for some reason, then it is recommended for you to visit him and congratulate him on his happiness, so that he will become happier and love you more because you are happy with him.

 

Allah Ta’ala has given glad tidings to His believing servants with His words: “Their Lord gladdens them with mercy and pleasure from Him and Paradise in which they will have everlasting enjoyment” (At-Taubah: 21).

 

When revealed to the Prophet SAW. the verse: “Indeed We have given you a clear victory. That Allah may forgive you your past and future sins” (Al-Fath:1-2).

 

Upon his return from Hudaibiyah, the Prophet said, “A verse has been revealed to me that I love more than anything on earth.”

 

Then he recited it in front of the Companions. They said, “O Messenger of Allah, congratulations to you”.

 

The Prophet (SAW) gave good news to Sayyidah Khadijah r.a. about a house for her in heaven later, which is made of pearls, there is no noise in it and no fatigue.

 

The Prophet asked Ubay bin Ka’ab r.a., “Which verse in the Book of Allah is the greatest?”

 

Ubay replied, “The Verse of Kursi.”

 

The Prophet said, “O Abal Mundzir congratulations on your knowledge.”

 

When the Messenger of Allah (SAW) delivered a sermon on the last day of Sha’ban, he said, “O people, you will be shaded by a great month, a blessed month, in which there is a night better than a thousand months” (Al-Hadith).

 

This indicates that it is recommended to congratulate people on the arrival of Ramadan and Eid.

 

  1. When you give good news to your friends, you should approach them with a smiling face and a soul filled with joy.

 

When he comes from traveling you say to him praise be to Allah for saving you, or praise be to Allah for bringing me together with you. Or welcome, or something like that.

 

When he returns from Hajj, you say: May Allah accept your Hajj and forgive your sins and reimburse you for the cost of your journey, or may your Hajj be a mabrur Hajj and your deeds accepted by Him, and may your trade not be a loss.

 

When congratulating a marriage: may Allah bless you and gather you both in goodness.

 

When the baby is born you say: may Allah bless you with the baby and let you be grateful to God who has given it. May he grow up quickly and be devoted to you.

 

In response to your friend’s reply to you, he should say: may Allah bless you and reward you with good, may Allah grant you favor.

 

When congratulating the arrival of Ramadan, you say: blessed month.

 

And at the time of Hari Raya you say: Minal A’idin wal Faaizin, may we be among those who return pure and fortunate, with the pleasure of the Lord of all worlds, every year you are always in goodness.

 

 

12. MANNERS OF TRAVELING

 

  1. Know that there are times when traveling is obligatory, such as going for Hajj to the sacred House of Allah and studying knowledge, which is obligatory. There are times when traveling is Sunnah, such as visiting the graves of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), saints and righteous people, or visiting one’s parents, relatives or friends. And there are times when traveling is permissible such as traveling for trade or seeing the sights of nature.

 

  1. When you want to travel, first pray istikharah (asking Allah for guidance) and ask permission from your father, mother and teachers. When you are ready to travel and they give you permission, then start returning other people’s belongings to their owners. You may have taken something without its owner’s permission, so you return it to its owner. Then you return the entrusted and borrowed goods and pay off the debts that you still owe.

 

You should prepare the expenses of those whom you are obliged to provide for, and you should prepare the message that you wish to convey.

 

You prepare provisions that are lawful and good. Ask your Lord for forgiveness from all disobedience and sin, and seek His help on your journey.

 

  1. Then choose a good friend who can help you in doing good and can ease the fatigue of the journey.

 

“Choose a companion before traveling.” As mentioned in the hadith. :

 

The Prophet (SAW) forbade traveling alone, saying: “One rider is a shaitan and two riders are two shaitans, while three people are a group.”

 

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to travel one day and one night unless accompanied by her mahram.”

 

Then say goodbye to your mother and father, your teachers, your friends and your neighbors. Ask for forgiveness from them and also everyone with whom you have had any dealings.

 

The hadith states: “If any of you is going to travel, let him say goodbye to his brothers, for Allah will bless their prayers for him.”

 

Say the du’a that has been narrated: “I entrust you to Allah, with whom no entrustment is lost.”

 

It is mustahabb for the resident to accompany the one who is traveling and pray for him with the narrated du’a, which is: “I entrust your religion, your trust and your final deeds to Allah.

 

May you always be under His protection and care. May Allah equip you with piety and forgive your sins and also may Allah direct you to goodness wherever you are.”

 

You pray two rak’ahs when you are about to leave your house. You recite in the first raka’at: Qul yaa ayyuhal kaafiruun, and the second rak’ah: Qul huwallahu Ahad.

 

When you finish the greeting, recite: Ayat Kursi.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “Whoever recites the Ayat Kursi before leaving his house, he will not be disturbed until he returns home.” He should also recite Surah: Li iilafi Qurayshin. Some scholars say that this Surah will keep him safe from any harm.

 

  1. When you stand at the door of your house, recite the prayer for leaving the house as explained in the previous section on the manners of traveling, namely:

 

“In the name of Allah, I put my trust in Allah; there is no power and strength except with the help of Allah. O Allah, I seek refuge with You, so as not to go astray or be led astray, or to slip or be led astray, or to do wrong or be wronged, or to be foolish or be fooled, or to wrong others and be wronged by them.”

 

Put your left foot first when you leave the house. When you are upright on the vehicle, say Takbir three times, then say: “Glory be to Allah, Who has subjected this vehicle to us when we could not master it before. And surely we will return to our Lord” (Az-Zukhrut: 13, 14).

 

“O Allah, we ask You for virtue, piety and deeds that You approve of on this journey.

 

O Allah, make this journey easy for us and draw near to us the distance.

 

O Allah, You are a companion on the journey and a substitute for family. O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the hardships of the journey, from the distressing sights and from the bad circumstances that befall our wealth, family and children.”

 

When you return home, recite the previous prayer and add to it: “We return, we repent, we worship and praise our Lord.” This is what is mentioned in the hadeeth.

 

When you fear people or others, then say: “O Allah, we make You their adversary and we seek refuge in You from their evil.”

 

If you are afraid of the shaitan, then say the adhan, for when he hears it, the shaitan will flee and retreat.

 

Be an example of good manners on your journey. You honor your elders and love your children. You put others before yourself by placing them in their proper place, especially if they are weak, sick or elderly. You treat all your friends with kindness. So you speak to them with gentleness and you fulfill their needs.

 

Do not be miserly with food or anything else towards them. Do not quarrel with them or do anything to annoy them. Nor should you disturb the driver of the vehicle by talking, arguing or quarreling.

 

  1. Traveling on Thursday is recommended.

 

In the hadith it is said: “Rarely did the Messenger of Allah go out to travel, except on Thursday.”

 

And let the journey be made at the break of day.

 

In the hadith: “O Allah, bless my people in the early morning hours.”

 

When you have finished your work, go home immediately. –

 

It was mentioned in the hadith: “Traveling is part of the punishment.

 

He prevents one of you from eating, drinking and sleeping.

 

So when any of you has finished his business, let him return immediately to his family.”

 

When you see your city, then say: “O Allah, make peace for us in this city with good provision.”

 

And say: “We return, we repent, we worship and we thank our Lord,” until you enter the city.

 

When you enter your house, then say: “We return, we return and we repent to our Lord, leaving no sin behind us.”

 

You should return during the day. In the hadith: “The Messenger of Allah after traveling did not go to his family at night. He went to them in the morning or afternoon.”

 

Before you enter your house, pray two rak’ahs in the nearest mosque if you have time. This is also mentioned in the Sunnah. It is also Sunnah for you to bring gifts for your family, because people’s eyes are attentive to those who have just come from traveling. So it is recommended for you to cheer them up. It is even mentioned in the hadeeth: “If a traveler has nothing with him, let him put a stone in his basket.”

 

 

13. MANNERS WHEN DRESSING

 

  1. When you put on clothes it is advisable for you to intend to cover the ‘awrah that Allah has commanded you to cover, so that you will be rewarded for your intention. You should also intend to be grateful for the blessing of being clothed. Allah, the Almighty, has granted you this blessing, as mentioned in His words: “O son of Adam, indeed We have sent down to you garments to cover your nakedness and beautiful garments for adornment” (Al-A’raaf: 26).

 

And in another verse: “And He (Allah) made for you clothing to protect you from the heat” (An-Nahl: 81).

 

  1. You should start dressing with the right hand. In the hadith: “When you want to put on clothes or perform ablution, start with the right hand.”

 

After saying the basmalah say: “O Allah, I ask You for its goodness and the goodness of the body that wears it.

 

And I seek refuge with You from its evil and the evil of the body that wears it. Praise be to Allah who has given me this garment and provided it as sustenance for me without any power or strength on my part.”

 

Do not uncover your ‘awrah without a need. Whenever it is necessary to do so recite the du’a that has been narrated and it is the du’a to cover the jinn’s view of the human ‘awrah, namely: “In the name of Allah, there is no god but He.”

 

And when you take off your clothes, start with your left sleeve.

 

  1. You are wearing your new clothes, so give away your old clothes.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “Whoever puts on a new garment and says: “Praise be to Allah who has given me a garment to cover my private parts and to adorn myself with it in my life,” and then takes his old garment and gives it in charity, then he is in the care and protection of Allah, and is in the way of Allah during his life and after his death.”

 

  1. Suit yourself by wearing strong and proper clothing, just as the women of honor do with all their honor and glory.

 

Do not be fond of collecting various kinds of clothing and keeping up with the latest models, wearing various variations in cut and arrangement, and choosing them from colors that are flashy, attractive and can cause fitnah, let alone to the point of imitating the styles of Western women who are disbelievers and ungodly. May Allah protect us.

 

The hadith states: “Whoever wears clothes for fame in this world, Allah will put on him clothes of humiliation on the Day of Judgment, then light a fire on him.”

 

In another hadith it is said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” A poet said:

 

Beauty is not in the clothes that adorn it, beauty lies in knowledge and modesty.

 

  1. Be well-groomed and cleanly dressed, for a man who is well-groomed and cleanly dressed will have a good disposition, favoring order and neatness.

 

As for the one who neglects his clothes, then he will neglect all his affairs and have no feelings.

 

The hadith states: “Verily, Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty.” This means that He has good deeds and perfect attributes.

 

The Prophet (SAW) addressed a group of people, saying, “You are going to your brothers, so tidy up your vehicles and clothes. So that you appear to be a good personality among them all.”

 

Aisha r.a. reported that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) was about to leave the house for the Companions. So he first smoothed his turban and hair. Aisha asked: “O Messenger of Allah, why did you do that?

 

He replied: “Yes, Allah loves His servant who adorns himself for his brothers when he goes out to meet them.”

 

Pay attention to the cleanliness of your clothes and keep them from getting dirty quickly, especially if they are exposed to hard-to-remove marks such as ink or oil. Take care not to let your clothes tear or wear out quickly. When wet with sweat let it air out. When it is dry, fold it smoothly and place it in a special place while mentioning the name of Allah Ta’ala.

 

In the hadeeth it is said: “When you fold your clothes, mention the name of Allah so that the jinn will not use them at night, while you wear them during the day, so that they wear out quickly.”

 

  1. Do not imitate men in dress, as shameless women do, wearing men’s pants so that people mistake them for men when they are women. Even more so if she imitates the way men walk with their hair cut short.

 

The hadith states: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) cursed the man who wears women’s clothes, and the woman who wears men’s clothes.”

 

You should not exaggerate in wearing cloth made of silk and gold, for that is forbidden.

 

  1. It is recommended for you to wear white clothes. It has been mentioned in the hadith: “Wear your white shirt, for it is the best of your clothes.”

 

Do not wear wet clothes and then go out into the wind, as this is harmful to your health.

 

And do not wear clothes that are upside down or dirty or torn or that have loose buttons, for that is not proper for you, and you fear that your body will be exposed.

 

Choose clothes that are moderate in size, because if they are too big they will show a boring view, while narrow clothes can harm the body, because they compress the limbs and hinder blood circulation, in addition they can show a body shape that is not appropriate for you.

 

Wear good clothes at the time of your prayer with a clean white mukena (prayer rukuh) in accordance with the words of Allah Ta’ala: “O son of Adam, put on your beautiful clothes at every entry to the mosque” (Al-A’raat: 31), namely at the time of prayer and tawaf.

 

If your cloth is dirty, replace it with another one and do not use it for prayer, especially if there is a foul odor from it.

 

 

14. MANNERS AT BEDTIME

 

  1. Sleep is a necessity for humans, as it serves to restore strength lost during work.

 

The best time to sleep is at night, as it is peaceful. A single night of sleeplessness can be harmful to health, as it prevents one from getting enough restful sleep and causes difficulty in digestion, resulting in weakness, headaches and brain diseases. Sleeping during the day does not replace the importance of a night’s sleep. So sleep early in the night so that you can wake up early in the morning. Do not sleep too long, for this leads to weakness and laziness, and discourages work and wastes time.

 

For young people it is best to sleep eight hours a night, and not to go to bed immediately after dinner, as this can lead to startling dreams. Even la can make it difficult to sleep, in addition to causing hardening of the heart.

 

The hadith states: “Liquefy your food by mentioning the name of Allah and praying.

 

Do not sleep when you are full, which will make your heart hard.”

 

After eating, sleep for at least two hours and do not sleep unless you have performed the obligations of prayer and recitation. If you miss any of them, then do them when you remember. In the hadith it is said: “Whoever sleeps and misses the Witr prayer because he forgets, let him offer it when he remembers.”

 

  1. Wear clothes specifically for sleeping, and preferably ones that are not cramped so that you can rest well. Take off your daily clothes and put them in place, so that it is easy for you to pick them up in the morning.

 

Then shake out your bed. The hadeeth says: “When one of you goes to his bed, he should shake out his bedclothes (sheets or blankets), for he does not know what is in them.” This means that there may be insects crawling around in that place.

 

Lie down on your right side while facing the qiblah and thank your Lord for saving you throughout the day and enabling you to fulfill your duties. Ask Allah to protect your sleep and save you from all forms of harm.

 

You should have a calm heart, empty of all thoughts, so that you can sleep comfortably. Cleanse your heart from grudges and jealousy against fellow Muslims, both men and women. Intend to do good when you wake up and ask forgiveness for your sins while saying: “I seek forgiveness from Allah, the Most Glorious, there is no God but Him, the Eternal and Self-Sustaining, and I repent to Him (three times).

 

The hadith states: “Whoever says it when he goes to sleep, Allah will forgive his sins, even if they are as numerous as the foam of the sea.”

 

Then recite: “In Your name, O my Lord, I lay down my body and in Your name I take it up. If You take my life, then have mercy on him. And if You spare him, then protect him, as You protect Your righteous servants.

 

O Allah, protect me from Your punishment on the day You resurrect Your slaves (three times).”

 

Then blow into the palms of your hands (a gentle exhalation without saliva) and recite: “Qul huwallahu Ahad, Qul A’udzu birobbil falaq and Qul A’udzu birobbin Naas”. Then wipe the palms of your hands over the parts of your body that you can reach, starting with the head and face and the front of the body. This is what is mentioned in the hadith.

 

Then say: Subhanallah (33 times), Alhamdulillah (33 times), Allahu Akbar (33 times). Then the verse of Kursi and “Aamanar Rasool” until the end of Surah Al-Baqarah. It has been mentioned in the hadith of the great reward for whoever recites them.

 

  1. You should go to sleep with constant dhikr and in a state of ablution so that your soul may ascend to the ‘Arsh and be written in a state of prayer, until you wake up.

 

You should also end your watch with a good deed. The hadith states: “When people go to sleep, angels and shaytans fight over them. The angel says: O Allah, end him with good. The shaitan says: End him with evil. If he mentions the name of Allah, and then goes to sleep, the angels watch over him throughout the night.”

 

End your prayers with this prayer: “O Allah, I submit myself to You and I turn my face to You, I submit my affairs to You and I ask You for the protection of my back, with my hope and fear of You.

 

There is no refuge and no escape from You, except to return to You. I believe in Your Book which You have revealed and Your Prophet whom You have sent.”

 

If you recite that prayer and you happen to die that night, then you have died in a state of fitrah (pure and clean from minor sins). If you live until morning, then you are in good. This is what is mentioned in the hadith. Then recite Surah al-Kaafiruun, and go to sleep after reciting it, because it frees from shirk as mentioned in the hadith.

 

  1. Do not sleep on your stomach, for that is not in accordance with etiquette and can suffocate breathing and cause startling dreams.

 

The hadith states: “Verily this is a form of sleep that Allah hates.”

 

Nor should you sleep on your back, lest you drift off in your sleep or fantasize about events that frighten you, or you feel as though something heavy is pressing on your chest.

 

Do not cover your face when you sleep, it can cause lung disease, because it only inhales stale air which is bad.

 

Avoid the cold by closing the windows and wearing a blanket that can keep you warm, so that you can avoid colds, stomach disorders and infectious influenza diseases and joint pain.

 

This is because body heat is reduced during sleep due to lack of movement, while cold can affect and impair health.

 

  1. Do not leave a fire burning when you go to bed. The hadith states: “Do not leave a fire in your houses while you sleep.”

 

One night a house in Madinah caught fire and the ruins fell on its occupants. When the Prophet was informed of their plight, he said: “Verily this fire is an enemy to you. When you sleep, put out the fire.”

 

Do not sleep at times that are forbidden for us to sleep.

 

It is mentioned in the hadith: “Whoever sleeps before the end of the ‘Isha’ prayer, then may Allah not make his eyes sleep. Whoever sleeps after the ‘Asr prayer and loses his mind, let him not blame anyone but himself. Sleeping in the morning after the Fajr prayer can prevent sustenance, while sleeping at Dhuha time can cause ignorance, blindness.”

 

 

15. MANNERS WHEN GETTING UP FROM SLEEP

 

  1. When you wake up from sleep, let the first thing that comes to your heart and tongue be the remembrance of Allah, so that you begin your watch with goodness, just as you end it.

 

The hadith states: “During sleep the shaitan makes three ties on the back of the head of one of you. He strikes over each tie saying, stay where you are, the night is still long, and sleep some more!

 

When he gets up and mentions the name of Allah, one bond is released. When he performs ablution, a second bond is released and when he prays, all the bonds are released. Then he becomes passionate and kind-hearted. Otherwise, he becomes evil-minded and lazy.”

 

Try to wake up before dawn, so that you can pray Fajr at the earliest time.

 

In the hadith mentioned: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) was asked: “Which deed is the best?” He replied: “Prayer at the beginning of its time.”

 

Be as vigilant as possible so that you do not wake up late. Delaying the prayer from its time for no real reason is a major sin. Allah says: “So woe to those who pray. Those who neglect their prayers” (AlMaa’uun: 4,5).

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “They are the ones who delay the prayer from its time.”

 

It is also mentioned in the hadith that a man was brought to the Prophet (SAW) and said, “He sleeps until morning and does not pray.” So the Prophet said, “Shaytan has urinated in his ears.”

 

Whoever is like this will not be able to accept kindness and advice and will not be influenced by it.

 

  1. It is Sunnah for you, when you wake up, to use the toothbrush and then recite these du’aa’: “Praise be to Allah who brings us to life after putting us to death, to Him we will be resurrected. Praise be to Allah who restores my spirit to my body and gives health to my body and allows me to mention His name. Praise be to Allah who created sleep and wakefulness. Praise be to Allah who resurrected me safe and sound.

 

I testify that Allah brings the dead back to life and that He is in control of all things. There is no God but Allah alone, there is no partner for Him. He has all power and to Him belongs all praise and He is All-Powerful over all things. Glory be to Allah, all praise be to Allah, there is no God but Allah and Allah is the Greatest.

 

There is no power and no strength, except with the help of Allah, the Most High, the Most Great. There is no God but You, Glory be to You, O Allah, all praise be to You, I ask You for forgiveness for my sins and I ask for Your mercy.

 

O my Lord, increase my knowledge. Do not misguide my heart after You have guided me. Grant me mercy from Your side, surely You are the Bestower.” –

 

Then you look up at the sky and read the end of Surah ‘Ali Imran: “Surely in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day, there are signs for the wise.” read until the end of the surah.

 

If you do not know these prayers and verses by heart, then there is nothing wrong with saying them as you recite them, until you memorize them through frequent recitation and repetition.

 

  1. Then put on your clothes and recite the du’a mentioned in the chapter on the adab of dressing: “Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahiim. O Allah, I ask You for its goodness and the goodness of the body that wears it. And I seek refuge with You from its evil and the evil of the body that wears it.

 

Praise be to Allah who has given me this garment and provided it as sustenance for me without any power or strength on my part.”

 

Then go to the restroom wearing sandals and a covered head. Put the left foot first when entering and the right foot when exiting. Do not forget the prayers that come from the Prophet SAW. at the time and when finished ablution.

 

Then offer the two rak’ahs of the voluntary Qobliyah Fajr prayer and include the intention of the voluntary prayer for Wudhu. After that recite the prayer of Fajr as mentioned in the hadith, and the beginning: “O Allah, I ask You for mercy from Your side.”

 

And perform the Fajr prayer in congregation and then recite the famous “Wirdul Lathif”, composed by: Al-Imam Al-Habib Abdullah Al-Haddad r.a.

 

He has compiled it from sahih hadiths. So always recite this wirid, for it will benefit you greatly in this world and the Hereafter.

 

 

16. ADAB ISTIKHARAH AND DELIBERATION

 

  1. If you want to do something that you do not know the consequences of and do not know whether it is better to leave it or do it, then it is adab that you ask your Lord Allah SWT for a choice.

 

The Prophet (SAW) said: “Among the happiness of the son of Adam is asking Allah for a choice, and among his miseries is abandoning istikharah (asking Allah for a choice).”

 

It is Sunnah for you to pray istikharah. You recite in the first raka’at: Qul yaa ayyuhal kaafiruun, and in the second raka’at: Qul huwallahu Ahad.

 

It has been mentioned in a hadith: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) taught us to do istikharah in all matters, such as teaching us the recitation of surahs from Al-Gur’an.

 

He said: “When any one of you is about to undertake any business, he should pray two raka’ats in addition to the obligatory prayers. Then he should say:

 

“O Allah, I ask You for choice by Your knowledge and for decision by Your power. I ask You for Your great bounty. Verily, You are powerful and I am not powerful. You are all-knowing while I am ignorant and You are the One who knows the unseen.

 

O Allah, if You know that this affair (mention your need) brings good in my religion, livelihood and the consequences of my affairs, then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless me in it.

 

And if You know that this affair brings harm to my religion, livelihood and the consequences of my affairs, then keep it away from me and keep me from it, ordain good for me wherever I am, and make me content with it.” Hadith narrated by Bukhari.

 

  1. It is also good manners to consult with your father and mother and your teacher about it, and also with those who can give you their opinions and advice.

 

Allah has told His Prophet (SAW) to engage in deliberation. Allah says: “And consult with them in that matter” (Ali mran:159), even though he was of perfect intelligence, and Allah Ta’ala had guaranteed him guidance.

 

Allah Ta’ala says when praising the Companions (peace be upon them): “And their affairs (were) decided by deliberation between them” (Assyuura: 38).

 

The hadith states: “He who does istikharah will not be in vain, and he who deliberates will not regret it.”

 

In another hadith it is also said: “Deliberation is a protection against regret and a safeguard against reproach.”

 

A poet said:

 

Consult with someone other than yourself if you are in trouble one day, even if you are a person who likes to give advice.

 

The eye sees near and far and will not be able to see itself, except with a mirror.

 

  1. When you are given advice, you should act on it. The hadith states: “Seek the advice of a reasonable person and do not oppose it so that you will not regret it later.”

 

If someone asks you for guidance, then it is part of your mandate that you guide him to do what is best for him.

 

In the hadith: “The advisor bears a trust.” In another hadith: “Indeed, one of the duties of a Muslim to another Muslim is to advise him when he asks for advice.”

 

 

 

CONCLUDING THE BOOK ON THE HIJAB COMMANDMENT

 

O fostered daughter:

 

  1. Hijab is a blessing and a gift from Allah. That is why Allah, may He be exalted, has made it obligatory for women, because of its many benefits and wisdoms, including the fact that it helps to protect morals and religion.

 

A woman who maintains her hijab adheres to her religion. She lives a life of good morals and does not change. She lives in a state that is always beloved and honorable in the eyes of society.

 

On the other hand, if she removes her hijab, then she is free to do things that Allah has forbidden, and no longer cares about what she does herself, does not fear Allah, and is not ashamed of people.

 

As stated in the hadith: “When you are no longer ashamed, then do whatever you want.”

 

His morals become bad. He loves arrogance and vile words and enjoys insulting others, is not humble, does not want to convey the mandate, lives in contempt and is hated in the community.

 

  1. Know that the ‘awrah of a woman during prayer is her entire body, except for her face and the palms of her hands. But outside of prayer, and in the presence of men who are not her mahrams, she must also cover her face and palms. As for a woman’s ‘awrah among her own mahrams, it is between the center and the knees.

 

  1. A well-preserved woman always wears hijab and does not easily abandon it in front of anyone, even her relatives. She does not care about the company of shameless women, because of her firm adherence to the commandments of religion and her preservation of herself from reproach and disgrace.

 

He is content and willing with little and with only what is available, and does not force himself to seek what is not available.

 

As for the woman who does tabarruj, she looks at various kinds of goods, because she likes to go to the markets and shops. She looks at various kinds of clothes and food, then forces her husband to buy them, or if necessary by haram means.

 

She does not care about any advice, and her husband can perish through her hands, as many hadiths state.

 

HADITHS ABOUT HIJAB

 

  1. Umm Salamah r.a. reported that she said, “I was in the presence of the Messenger of Allah and Maimunah was there. Then Ibn Ummi Maktum came, after we had been told to wear hijab.”

 

So the Prophet said, “Hide from him.”

 

We said, “O Messenger of Allah, is he not a uta who does not see and know us?” The Prophet said, “Are you both blind? Didn’t you see him?” H.R. Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi, ria said, this hadith is hasan sahih.

 

  1. From “Uqbah bin Amir r.a.: that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “Do not enter the place of women.” An Anshar man said, “What do you think of the husband’s relatives?”

 

The Prophet (SAW) replied, “The husband’s relatives can destroy.” H.R. Bukhari and Muslim. What is meant by the husband’s relatives are, such as the husband’s brother (in-law), his brother’s sons and his uncle’s sons.

 

  1. From Abi Hurairah r.a.: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “Two kinds of people of Hellfire I have never seen: 1. People who carry whips like the tails of cows and use them to beat people. 2. And women who are clothed but as if they were naked (not veiled), their walk is swaying and attracting attention, the hair of their heads (bun) is like a camel’s hump that is slanted. ,

 

They will neither enter Paradise nor smell its odor, even though the odor of Paradise can be smelled from a great distance.” i.e. 40 years’ journey as mentioned in one narration. (H.R. Muslim).

 

  1. Ibn Mus’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah curses those women who tattoo their bodies and those who ask to have their bodies tattooed, those who tell others to thin their eyebrows, those who straighten their teeth for the sake of beauty, and those who alter Allah’s creation.”

 

A woman said to Ibn Mas’ud about this. So Ibn Mas’ud replied, “Why don’t I curse the person who has been cursed by the Messenger of Allah (SAW) when it is already stated in the Book of Allah.

 

Allah Ta’ala says: “What the Messenger gives you, accept. And what he forbids you, then leave it” (Al-Hasyr: 7). (H.R. Bukhari and Muslim).

 

  1. Ibn Umar r.a. reported: “that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) cursed the woman who connects her hair and the woman who asks for her hair to be connected, and the woman who tattoos her body and the woman who tattoos her body.” ana

 

  1. Sayyidah Fatimah r.a. was a very shy woman. One day, her father, the Prophet Muhammad, said to her, “What is best for women?”

 

Fatimah replied, “When she does not look at a man and a man does not look at her.”

 

So the father embraced him out of joy at his good answer, saying, “The offspring of some come from the offspring of others.”

The hadeeth says: “A woman’s prayer in her room is better than her prayer in her house, and a woman’s prayer in seclusion is better than her prayer in her house. So a woman’s prayer in any place that is more secluded is better, because it avoids temptation.”

 

  1. There is a reliable report from ‘Aisha r.a. that she said, “Had the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) seen what women are doing today, he would have prohibited them from entering the mosques, just as he prohibited the women of the Children of Israel.” This narration was mentioned shortly after the Prophet passed away.

 

The Prophet said: “When a woman performs the five daily prayers and fasts during Ramadan and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise.”

 

This concludes the book.

 

Wallahu a’alam bish shawaab. It is only He who guides and guides us to the straightest path.

 

May Allah SWT. bestow shalawat and salam upon our lord Prophet Muhammad SAW. as well as his family and companions.

 

Walhamdu lillahi Robbil Alamien.